Gravity Is A Fµ©king Buzz Kill! Works Of Mad Science Semi-Fiction: Buzz Kill #1: Faster Than Light Or Bust!

Gravity Is A Fµ©king Buzz Kill! Works Of Mad Science Semi-Fiction:

Buzz Kill #1: Faster Than Light Or Bust!

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Buzz Kill #1

Faster Than Light Or Bust! Ride FTL! Or Die Trying!

Human Freedom Cannot Survive For Long Otherwise

Faster than light space travel is absolutely essential for the freedom, and the future survival, of the human species. And “I consider it a challenge before the whole human race” that we can’t afford to lose ( We Are the Champions, Queen ). Rousing music reference aside, that’s easier said than done. I was sold a bill of goods by science fiction a movies and television. No hyperdrive. No warp speed. Damn you Roddenberry! You lied to me! And don’t even get me started on the damn metachlorians! Han shot first damn it!

When I found out that there was supposedly no way to go faster than light, I was determined to find a loop hole. The classic example from science fiction that seemed the most plausible, was the warp drive concept of Star Trek, based the the curved space-time concept of General Relativity. The fundamental problem with that, is General Relativity, and the devil in the details about how something bends nothing. It may be apocryphal internet noise, but Nicola Tesla was supposedly critic of General Relativity, doubting that something to could bend nothing. And he supposedly claimed to have to worked out his own theory explaining the gravity, light, and the motions of planets as a combination of transverse and longitudinal electromagnetic waves. But he supposedly never wrote it down, if the internet is to be believed.

But Nicola Tesla isn’t the only one with a problem with General Relativity. There is a long standing unresolved problem within modern physics, in terms of reconciling Quantum Mechanics and General Relativity. For more on the state of the current debate, check out Dr. Friedwardt Winterberg’s paper, the Einstein-Myth and the Crisis in Modern Physics ( 2004 ), for a competent overview of the current mainstream debate, more competent than mine would be. When one is faced with an unavoidable fork in the road, with the signage missing or hopelessly confused, no matter what the excuse, it helps to return to an earlier point in the process that led there, back to a point where the signs still made sense.

Whether it’s true or not, I found the apocryphal Tesla gravity interesting enough to consider in my quest for loopholes on the universal speed limit, more interesting than failure at least. As a child reading comic books, I liked to play a game where I would ask myself ‘if it were real… how could it work… if it could work… if it could be real?’ Assuming the apocryphal internet Tesla can be taken at his word, how could that work? A longitudinal electromagnetic wave would essentially be like a peizo-electric compression wave within space, presumably within some sort of medium, unless we listen to the same modern physics that tells us that something can bend nothing.

But why do they say that? Originally, for as long as light had been understood to be a wave, or at least wave like, light was believed to travel through a medium known as the aether in between the sun and the stars, and the earth. The Michelson Morley experiment tried to detect this, predicting an aether wind would be detected by laser a interferometry experiment, as the earth supposedly passed through the aether as it orbited the sun.

In a Michelson Morley Interferometer, a beam of light that starts out completely in sync with itself, is split by a beam splitter, and sent along two paths, perpendicular to each other. When recombined the path lengths traveled by the two different beams will be unavoidably different. Parts of the beams will be out of sync with itself, leading to the creation of interference fringes when recombined, with a mix of light areas created by sympathetic resonance where the waves are in sync with each other, and dark areas where the waves are partially out of sync, or even completely negated, similar to the phenomenon involved with sound canceling headphones, but with light. If one path length under goes net change relative to the other, from net movement in one direction, with one path parallel to the direction of the motion of the Earths orbit, and the other one perpendicular to it, the fringes were expected be shifted in one direction by an aether wind.

But very little if any of this predicted effect was observed. This was taken as a non result, supposedly disproving the aether hypothesis, leading to all subsequent development focusing on other supposed explanations, hence General Relativity, and Quantum Mechanics, and the inability to reconcile the two with each other, both taking a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Of the two of them, Quantum Mechanics has long track record of proven practical predictive power at least, unlike General Relativity. Some of General Relativity’s predictions have come up short, begging further explanation and finding nothing but further theoretical concoctions patching holes in faulty paradigms.

One of the predictions of General Relativity that did pan out, was the successfully observed phenomenon of frame dragging, a feature of the alleged curvature of space-time. Something, not only bending nothing, but dragging nothing along with it! Spooky! Not just action at a distance, but acting to bend and drag nothing at a very great distance! Beyond spooky!

Of course, the very possibility something dragging nothing, allows for the possibility of an aether dragging effect, just as much as a frame dragging effect. Which would negate any hopes for the detection or non detection of an aether wind settling the matter to begin with. It becomes a non falsifiable test at that point, as a mere academic exercise. Either you fail to detect what you’re not looking for, or you fail to detect what isn’t there, because you failed to ask the right questions to begin with. Either way you fail. Who is to know the difference then either way? And how exactly?

Giving the apocryphal internet Tesla the benefit of a doubt over today’s lost boys of academia, for the sake of shear desperate mad science speculation, I have made a series of wild ass guesses, or WAGs, as a part of my WAG analysis supposition system, or my WAG ASS process, my WAP, with the biggest and most self serving WAG of them all being the motivation for the present work. I hopelessly assume that there must be a way to do it, simply because the human species is doomed in the long run otherwise. My mad science WAP needs to WAG ASS for humanity.

WAG #1: Why yes Virginia! There is an aether cloud! But we’re all a part of it! We are made from it! And it’s electromagnetic! We are the cloud electromagnetic!

The fundamental error made by the original Michelson Morley Experiment, was assuming that the aether was only the medium through which light travels in a vacuum, rather than understanding that it was the medium for all of the observable phenomenon that we take for granted as existence. I believe it is the medium for the forces between the electrons, protons, and neutrons. And it may perhaps even be a medium for the forces between the quarks that make of those particles. We are creatures of aether.

If you assume otherwise, and you assume that aether is separate and apart from you, out in the vacuum of space, you would then erroneously believe that it would just pass us by as we swim through it, without it getting in the way somehow. But all of our precious solid particles are just wave systems traveling through the effective space, provided by the aether medium. We don’t pass through the aether medium. We pass in it. Because we exist within it. And we cannot exist without it. ‘Empty space’ is just the aether medium in a relatively uncomplicated state, seemingly void, but never truly empty.

Particles undergo constant internal agitation within themselves, which interacts with the constant electromagnetic froth and perturbation from without. The particles internal perturbation provides an electromagnetic push and pull outwardly against the surrounding medium. Seeking to minimize their perturbation, the aether medium is partially displaced from the source of the perturbation, with ever decreasing intensity to the effect as it radiates outward spherically from source of the perturbation at the center. Presumably, all of the outward radiating longitudinal electromagnetic waves, from all the various particles containing mass, are simply super imposed upon each other, adding to each other’s froth and perturbation, adding to the intensity of the displacement effect radiating outward from the combined system.

The resulting variance in the density of the aether leads to a sloping density as you move closer in to the source of the perturbation. Particles passing through the aether under the influence of this perturbation will seek to continue their own perturbation with minimum interference. Aether of less density should provide less resistance to this, leading the particle to take the path of least resistance as a system, pursuing the path of least resistance in terms of it’s own continuing internal agitation, and following that path inward, closer and closer in to the source.

These particles systems generating this froth and perturbation will likewise be attracted to each other by virtue of falling into each others ruts. I’ll perturb your back, if you perturb mine. I visualize this as a pair of electromagnetic egg beaters churning an aether batter. The area immediately surrounding the eggbeaters seems to dip down as it’s pushed away by the egg beaters, but not completely, because the batter pushes back. If the two eggbeaters are brought closure together, a relative void will form between them, making difficult to hold then apart as they’ll want to take the path of least resistance to their perturbation of the aether batter, until they crash directly into the source and can’t go further.

Essentially, the supposed curvature of space-time, is simply a function of the variability of aether density, a deformation of the aether medium resulting from the churn, burn, and turn of systems of mass, locked into their own perpetual internal agitation, and sharing the perturbing love with the rest of existence all around it. And that’s the good news! If it’s electromagnetic, and it can be electromagnetically perturbed, then it can be manipulated and ‘warped’ electromagnetically. If only mass can do that, then we’re most likely SOL for warp speed as a practical matter. Sorry, no magical dilithium crystals to be found here.

WAG #2: The speed of light is slow lane! Sub-FTL is for inevitably extinct losers!

It’s not just that it would suck if nothing could faster than the speed of light, it simply can’t be, because the math doesn’t add up otherwise, depending on who you ask. Why does it depend on who you ask, you might ask? It depends upon who’s basic assumptions you believe. It was Pierre-Simon Laplace who calculated that it was about 7x106 times as fast as the speed of light, orders of magnitude faster. Modern thinking disagrees. But modern thinking is a dead end, that has already been weighed and measured, and been shown wanting.

If gravity is a function of longitudinal electromagnetic waves, it makes sense intuitively that they should be much faster than their transverse counterpart. It is like the comparison with sound waves traveling in water( longitudinal ), versus the surface waves( transverse ), propagating much more slowly by comparison within the same medium. The sidewinder will always be slower than the direct approach.

WAG #3: The Michelson Morley Experiment is where it all went wrong, and where it can all go right again.

If I am right about why the Michelson Morley Experiment failed in it’s principle task, and the follow on consequence as a century long red herring for science, then only doing the same experiment right in some way will set things right. Otherwise, it will always be a block against further consideration of the aether hypothesis, almost no matter what other data comes along. And the reason why it failed may be a way to detect gravity waves directly from the earth beneath our feet.

If there are longitudinal electromagnetic waves within the aether that are responsible for gravity, then there also conveniently coming from the earth beneath our feet, without the need hopefully, of recourse to exotic spacecraft, or other over priced hardware to perform science on. In fact, it may have been inconvenient for Michelson Morley, having thrown off their experiment because they weren’t looking for an effect of gravity waves, in my mad science speculation. The confirmed prediction of frame dragging within General Relativity supports the aether hypothesis even more than General Relativity, and explains the Michelson Morley result in my view.

In order to confirm this hypothetically, we need to put the Michelson Morley Interferometer on a table top attached to a very smooth, beyond smooth swivel, to gently swing it from being parallel to the earth surface, parallel to the tangent to the plane, to being perpendicular with the plane tangent to the earth surface. Place the interferometer on the table top so that one arm is parallel to the axis of the swivel, and remains parallel to the surface of the earth at all points throughout the movement of the table’s swivel. The other arm of the interferometer will then go from being parallel to earth surface at one point in the movement of the swivel, then perpendicular to the earth at another point in the table’s motion.

When the table is level, you have a more or less conventional Michelson Morley interferometer, as a reference frame image. Then tilt the table until one of arms is perpendicular to the earth to take another snapshot with the exact same settings and calibrations as the reference frame, and compare and contrast the two images. If I’m right, there may be a diminished clarity and focus in the appearance of the interference fringes between the two images. The effect may even be too subtle to see, depending on the sensitivity of the setup.

When a hypothetical longitudinal electromagnetic wave within the aether medium, travels along the length of an arm of the interferometer, the optical path length oscillates slightly, perhaps so slightly it may not be detectable. The more sensitive the laser used in this type of interferometer, the more sensitive the device will be to changes in the path length. A UV laser, or a gamma ray laser will probably be required for maximum sensitivity. And in order to eliminate any possible environmental interference as an excuse, the entire swiveling table top device should be placed in a vacuum chamber for the experiment. But the smoothness of the swivel is beyond crucial. Because we must able to calibrate everything perfectly carefully, with respect to perfectly sensitive equipment, and then be able to move the damn thing without perfectly screwing it all up.

The size of the interferometer is of no consequence to the sensitivity, compared to the frequency of the laser. But you have to be able to fit your device, laser and all, inside the vacuum chamber. And even if you manage that, the device may not be sensitive enough to have an effect noticable for the human eye. Computer vision algorithms may be able to be devised that can measure and quantify the percentage of difference between the reference frame image and the perpendicular frame image.

Eventually, more clever and cunning laser monkeys than I, may be able to devise and interferometer that does this automatically and continuously, comparing the optical difference directly, perhaps even for multiple directions simultaneously. With multiple identical such hypothetical gravimetric monitors, placed widely across the globe, and taking multiple snapshots, at multiple points in earths orbit, might be able to give us a real time snap shot of our nearby galactic neighborhood, without the time delay on the information that comes with being light based. The earth’s own gravity will have to be mapped by these same devices, to zero out their reference frame, allowing them to serve as a proper scale, compensated for, and digitally removed for the sake of an accurate picture. Orbiting gravimetric monitor arrays may have to take up the task, for a more sensitive and in depth real time map.

WAG #4: An Aether Wave Drive may be able to be built, to ride FTL or die trying!

High frequency, high potential electromagnetic oscillators, covering the outside hull of a hypothetical spaceship, may be able to be tuned to the frequency of gravity, a resonant frequency of the aether, with multiple phases of operation, messaging a hypothetical plasma of some sort. With phase propagation from front to back of the ship, in order to grab aether with longitudinal electromagnetic waves, and drag it backwards, propelling the ship forward, an aether bubble may envelope the ship, helping to shield it from the aether being actively spread in front of it, and pulled around it’s little bubble, pushing the bubble forward. I imagine it functioning similarly to how a paramecium swims through it’s liquid environment, with the coordinated movement of tiny hairlike structures all over the cell membrane of the single celled organism. Except the medium is supposedly electromagnetic, and the tiny hairs are the coordinated actions of multiple phases of high frequency electromagnetic oscillators, covering the surface of the entire ship, forming a space propulsion exoskeleton.

Imagine a sphere with an axis, where the north pole points in the direction of the forward motion, and the south pole is the rear end, for a hypothetical spherical space craft. Sub divide the sphere in layers along it’s axis, from north to south, from front to back. Give each layer a slightly different high frequency high potential oscillator, with each slightly out of phase with it’s adjacent layers, and with a phase propagation along it’s axis, from north to south, from front to back, in the opposite direction of forward motion.

At the top, in the front of craft, the initial oscillator effectively projects outward to the front primarily, relative to other adjacent oscillators of a slightly different phase surrounding it. The high frequency high potential oscillation perturbs the aether with it’s supposed resonant frequency, assuming we can derive that from observations. Perturbation actively seeks to displace aether that doesn’t want to be be displaced, and reactively pushes back. In isolation this goes no where. But with the adjacent oscillators slightly out of phase, the aether seeking to minimize it’s own perturbation, will spread to the side, to taking the path of least resistance to maintaining the status quo with minimum additional perturbation. Next to that layer oscillators is of course another oscillators slightly out of phase, which then does the same thing, continuing to spread the aether electromagnetically, by electromagnetically massaging and manipulating it with longitudinal eletromagnetic waves, essentially artificial gravity waves.

In my view, any ordinary planetary body emits spherically, what is essentially a super summation of all the standing longitudinal electromagnetic waves coming from all of the mass of the physical body. As the body moves forward through the surrounding aether, the strength of the effect on the leading side will be stronger, and therefore more effective via a Doppler effect within the aether. The effect on the rear side will be the weakest, encouraging more rapid fill in behind, dragging the aether/frame along with it, hypothetically done in such a way that conserves the resulting natural momentum, as a function of the conservation of energy within the aether.

By introducing polyphase oscillation with net phase propagation, we introduce an unnatural directionality to the process, compared to the natural standing wave, effectively inducing and augmenting momentum into the existing mass/aether system traveling through space, creating acceleration due to artificial gravity. In my view, gravity can be artificially created and directed, but never stopped or negated. Artificial gravity is just more froth to the system of froth and it’s side effects. Where natural gravity is less pronounced, you might be able to make some artificially, and direct it. But where it is plentiful and robust, it cannot be avoided or negated, but it should be able to be counteracted by creating sufficient artificial gravity with a contrary direction, but only so much.

WAG #5: I presume to have to something to say about it! Whether anyone listens or not!

I have written a few of speculative works, regarding a few speculative technologies, that I a speculate might make a difference, for a few of these matters, in Engineering is a Fµ©king Pain, Works of Mad Science Semi-Fiction, Pain #1-3. High frequency plasma resonance may create a power source capable of easily effecting and massaging the aether, by resonating it as a plasma in common. Whether or not they have the same resonant frequency is the only question in my mind, but I suspect so. And I suspect that the resonant frequency of the hypothetical Tesla Cells, and the resonant frequency of aether may be the same, and for the same reasons. 

Beduh Beduh Beduh Beduh Beduh Beduh Beduh…

That’s All For Now Folks!

Feel Free To Make Noise Among Yourselves!

And May The Best Noise Win!

The Mad Sage Of Uzushio, A Naruto Fan Fiction: Chapter #17: The Battle Of The Bands!

The Mad Sage Of Uzushio, A Naruto Fan Fiction:

Chapter #17: The Battle Of The Bands!

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Chapter 17

The Flying Monkey And The Shadow Wind Fox

Join The Battle Of The Bands!

The early morning mist of dawn greets the early morning light falling upon three shinobi hiking up the stonework aqueduct, heading up to the Valley of Exile with a hurried pace. Boruto and Mistuki are joined by Shikimaru’s son, and Botuo’s best friend, Nara Shikadai, a black haired shinobi with his hair tied back into a single ponytail, wearing his Konoha headband on his sleeve like an arm band, like his father.

Shikadai:

Why do we have to do this so early again?… And why can’t you tell me what we’re doing?!?… Mendocusei!…

Boruto:

It’s not secure here!… They could be listening!…

Shikadai:

Who could be listening?!?… Mendocusei!… Do you know what he’s talking about?…

Mitsuki:

I don’t know… But I’m in anyway… for whatever it is…

Shikadai:

I knew you’d say that!… You always say that!…

The three continue to make their way, all the way up to a high ridge, overlooking the Valley of Exile. Boruto peers out intently over the valley, scanning for something.

Shikadai:

What are you looking for?…

Boruto:

There are a bunch of training clones up here… including my stupid old man’s stone toad… who seems to have a compulsive tree gardening habit… just like uncle Shintaro… you can tell where they’re all training by… there!…

Boruto points to a sudden rapid up growth of bamboo trees, on an opposite side of the valley.

Boruto:

There!… That’s where they’re all training… We’re in the clear!… We can talk now…

Shikadai:

Talk about what?… What is so important and mysterious?…

Boruto:

It’s and extremely important and sensitive project… A mission!… We’re starting a band!…

Shikadai:

Starting a band?!?… How is starting a band a mission?!?… Have you been drinking coffee again?!?…

Boruto:

No!!!… Sarada and Chocho are starting a band with Ishitara!… And they’re learning all kinds of crazy powerful stuff!… We can’t allow ourselves to left behind!… This is a vital training mission!… Sarada and Chocho both have four transformations each!… That’s twice what uncle Shintaro himself has!… And what’s wrong with coffee anyway?…

Shikadai:

What do mean transformations?…

Buruto:

Elemental sage transformation… with the Chakra Resonance Jutsu!…

Boruto begins to emit an electric purple aura before being struck with a blinding flash of purple lightening, transforming him into his sparkly monkey form.

Shikadai:

Nani?!?… What the hell is that?!?…

Boruto:

Elemental sage transformation!… Using the power of music!… The power of resonance!… The ultimate power… of my Thunder Monkey!… Ooh! Ach! Ach! Ach! Ach!…

The black fur covered monkey suddenly ramps up the amplitude of his electric purple aura as he speaks, and it arcs over to the surround trees, the arcs of purple lightening.

Boruto:

Come on!… And get down with the resonance!…

Shikadai:

I don’t know… That looks crazy dangerous… not to mention freaky… Are sure you haven’t had too much coffee again?…

Boruto:

Never mind the coffee!!!… Ooh! Ach! Ach! Ach! Ach!…

The thunder monkey’s sparks ramp up for second, before discharging in a purple flash, leaving behind normal human Boruto.

Boruto:

Come on man… You know you want to… Everyone is doing it… You don’t want to be left out?… Do ya?… You don’t want to be left behind?… Do ya?…

Shikadai:

I don’t even know how to do any of that… What about you Mitsuki?… Are you in to this?…

Mitsuki:

I have my own sage transformation issues to manage… So I’ll have to pass on that… But if your serious about the music… I’m in… My parent taught me extensively… in many forms of music… and with expert mastery… in many instruments… Some day… I hope to wright symphonies… to please my parent… more than anything else… I suppose… I don’t have any idea how to start… I don’t know that I have anything I really want to express… I don’t even know if I can… I don’t want o talk about it… But if your serious about the music… I’m in…

Boruto:

Symphonies huh?… I don’t know about symphonies… But maybe we can start small at first… and see where we end up?… So what about you Shikadai?… Are you in or not?… I know you play wind style harmonica… You have ever since the academy when your uncle Gara gave that fancy harp… with fancy Suna craftsmanship!… Come on man!… Are you with the band or not?…

Sarada:

With the band?…

Chocho:

You scrubs are starting a band?… Sounds like their jealous to me!… Huh?… Sarada?…

The boys look up to find the butterfly Chocho, hovering next to the porcelain lava girl Sarada, holding an electric purple chakra biwa and plectrum, with Sarada’s oval frame glass wearing head as the head stock of the electric purple biwa in lava girl Sarada’s hands. The orange and yellow mockingbird form of Ishitara swoops in for a strafing serenade run, before flying back out again to serenade other parts of the Valley of Exile.

Magma Sarada:

Wanna see something cool?…

The floating magma girl Sarada strums the lightening Susanoo Sarada, and sounds a chord that chimes and echoes with pristine clarity throughout the Valley of Exile, as a far cry from the overwhelming power of the earlier sound from the shadow lightening Susanoo before.

Magma Sarada:

Electric Funeral!…

The magma diva strums her electric purple weapon, and the instrument arcs like crazy with explosive flashing discharges of purple lightening, destroying all the trees immediately surrounding the boys on the ground.

Magma Sarada:

Yeah… I’m liken this… I’m liken this a lot…

Chocho begins to play her ocarina, and imposes a similar audio effect upon her playing, as well as adding her voice to the sound of her ocarina.

Chocho:

Scrubs can only dream… and drool…

Chohco playing ramps up it’s intensity and multiplies itself, multiplexing it with itself, with layers of harmonics, echoing throughout the Valley of Exile, as she flies up and away followed by the biwa strumming porcelain magma girl, playing along.

Shikadai:

Okay!… I’m in!… I don’t know about this transformation thing… But the band… is on!… I’m in!… But I think we may need another piece or two… if we’re going to win this musical shogi match… And I may even know… a decent base player!…

The budding music trio find their way to the house of Shikadai’s teammate Inojin, the son of Ino and Sai. Gathered together like proper conspirators in Inojin’s room, an upright base fiddle with the cover on it looms large in the corner, next to the artists paints, brushes, and easel.

Shikadai:

Well?… Inojin?… Are you in?… Or not?…

Inojin:

I can’t do anything like that!… I play classical music!… You wonder why I don’t talk about my music?… Well… It’s not like how it is with my drawing… I can’t do anything cool or useful with it… I just like the music… And lets face it classical music sounds kind of… geeky… We tend to not want to talk about it… with outsiders…

Mitsuki:

It’s okay… I’m one of you…

Mitsuki steps up to Inojin, close enough to shake hands and obscure the sight of the others, and the two form a series of hand seals between them, with the hand seal of one fitting into the hand seal of the other’s hand. Then a series of disembodied chimes sound out from all around them.

Inojin:

Okay… You’re cool… What about them?…

Mitsuki:

I’ll vouch for them…

Boruto:

You’ll vouch for us?… We knew him first!…

Shikadai:

Why is it your acting so secretly familiar all of a sudden…

Inojin:

It’s something of a mutual support society… for classical musicians… Since few people will admit to it normally… for fear of the reprisals… Look… I would like to help you… But I just don’t have it in me… I’m an excellent performer of sheet music… But I can’t do anything like what you want… It’s not like I don’t want to do more… What I really want… is to play jazz… But I can’t really improvise… let alone resonate!… I think you’re seriously overestimating my ability at this point… I don’t even know if I have the talent in me for that!…

Boruto:

We can’t find out by talking about it… only by doing it!…

Mitsuki:

Why not try?… The worst thing that could happen is that you’re so bad… that you horribly embarrass yourself in public at some point…

Boruto:

Mitsuki!…

Inojin:

So much for mutual support!…

Mitsuki:

I owe you that honesty as part of mutual support… And we need you… I owe you that too…

Shikadai:

We really do need you… Chocho is already gloating… putting on airs… Do you really think… that you can live with that?…

Inojin:

Iie!… No I can’t!… I’m in!… But I’m not making any promises!… I’ll just do what I can… Remember!… You asked me!… That being said… I may know a fellow traveler that may also serve our mutual purposes… If you catch my meaning… eh?… Mitsuki?… Someone from our class who may also serve… But he may take some convincing…

As the now quartet conspire to be a quintet, the mad magician holds a private performance, as a private consultation with the president and founder of the Kaminarimon Company, Kaminarimon Ereki, and his son, Kaminarimon Denki, held within the president’s office at the Kaminarimon Tower. Two others in attendance to the private meeting are a young kunoichi with light purple hair, and a pair of long braids hanging down the front of her white lab coat, and a third hanging down behind her. Next to her stands a middle aged man in glasses, with short brown hair and a white lab coat. Behind the stately carved desk of the president, sits a confident man, but still in awe, with black hair and a top knot, wearing a thin mustache and beard. Shintaro stands before the desk with a small young Konoha shinobi with black hair and light metal framed glasses, dressed in blue with a Konoha headband, and standing at attention without having been commanded to do so.

Shintaro:

You are small and weak!… Kaminarimon Denki!… That… is the jist… of my assessment… However… I talked to Shino sensei… from the academy… as well as your jonin team leader… In addition to being the tops in your class in science and engineering… of keen interest to me… you are also near the tops of your class… academically at least… in fuinjutsu!… also of keen interest to me… Irregardless… You lack the strength of chakra to perform what you know how to perform… Your jonin team leader tells me your the brains of the team… But you call the shots while your team runs interference… as well as follow your commands… Not good enough!… Not good enough by far!… You must carry your own weight… as well as direct others… But without more of your own power… what else can you do?… To some extent… you have already begun… I can sense it in your chakra… Let me know if I’m off on anything… Please let me know… But basically… you’ve been trying desperately… instinctively you might say… to overcompensate with your teammates… even from back at the academy… by training and conditioning with your teammates… But you ended up leaning upon them a bit too much… for the sake of teamwork… Which is reported to be very good by the way… But it could be better… if you carried more of your own weight… I have in mind a series of training that will benefit your development… among other things… I’m sure a student of your caliber… of engineering and the sciences… will understand the meaning and the implications… of the power to weight ratio…

Denki:

The ratio… of power to weight… equals speed…

Shintaro:

That’s right… And to be perfectly frank… while you may get stronger… you’re not likely to get that much larger… But if you get stronger without getting heavier… what happens?…

Denki:

Speed increases!…

Shintaro:

Correct!… There are ways of increasing your power… through conditioning… There are also ways of destroying yourself… through conditioning… There are also ways of gaining leverage… to maximize effect… with limited power… with a choice of weapon… like a bo staff… But a bo staff is bulky… and heavy… and requires great skill… not just speed and strength… to wield effectively… But successful conditioning… to carry the load… will also yield greater chakra for the fuinjustu that you can’t really use yet… Another application of the power to weight ratio may be of interest to you… in terms of flight!…

Denki:

If weight remains the same… but power increases… vertical momentum and height reached will increase…

Shintaro:

And thereby… agility will also increase… But that is not your only concern… Both Shino sensei and your father have told me of your intention to become something of a science and technology specialist… But also to become the first shinobi company president… whatever that is… That May be a bit much to ask for… But I like your ambition… Along those lines I want it to be perfectly clear… that I plan to exploit all of you… And I expect to be exploited in return… In fact I demand to be exploited… Wakarimasuka?…

Denki:

Hai!…

Ereki:

Hai!… Shintaro sensei!…

Shintaro:

In fact… it is actually Denki’s own interest and talents that make him particularly of interest for exploitation… I have need of shinobi with the capacity to grasp advanced concepts of science and technology… But can still handle themselves… out in the wider and wilder metaverse… But you have far to go before you can even measure up to your own ambitions for yourself… Let alone what I have in store for you… I cannot help you to be better shinobi per se… at least not directly… But with proper conditioning to increase your chakra… you can develop some more formidable combat skills along the way… while also studying Uzumaki Clan Legacy… of fuinjutsu… Not only just to have an even more potent weapon at your disposal… but to enable your chosen specialty… as a technological specialist… Don’t get me wrong… I like this idea and I’m somewhat envious… that my own limitations prevent me from completely joining in on the fun as I would wish… But if your going to take your own grand ambitions seriously… your going to have to stop taking so many shortcuts…

Denki:

Shortcuts?…

Shintaro:

Allow me to illustrate… I hear that you’ve taken to carrying an electronic computational device… strapped to your back…

Denki:

Computational device?… You mean my lap top?…

Shintaro:

Shouldn’t it be back top?… It’s on your back… not your lap… baca shinobi these days… Please hand me the back top lap top… chop! Chop!…

Denki takes the closed lap top computer strapped to his back and hands it over to the mad magician. Shintaro promptly takes it up and effortlessly crushes it to pieces in his right hand.

Denki:

Aggh!!!… My back top lap top!!!…

Shintaro:

Chop chop… From now on you will be forbidden from taking your devices with you… until such time as you have enough chakra and skill to seal them away and recall them effortlessly… Delicate electronics cannot be relied upon if they cannot be sealed away in order to protect them… And with enough chakra and skill… even the largest of machines can be sealed away and carried off in a scroll in your bag… even whole factories… This power is also of concern for your father to learn… as I hear that he is an old hand with the sealing crews… during the last war…

Shintaro conjures forth a shikigami fabrication of a bo staff, conjured right into his right hand, then tosses it over to young Denki, as if in exchange for the back top lap top that is no more.

Shintaro:

Do you have any familiarity with this weapon?…

Denki:

Somewhat… from the academy standard curriculum…

Shintaro:

Well now it is your other specialty… It is your burden for you to carry… and grow stronger for it… It is your lever upon the world… for when you need leverage to maximize the effect of the strength you have… And it is your great defender… for the weaknesses that can never be completely eliminated… no matter how strong you may yet become… In time you will become strong and skilled enough to take anything with you that you may need for your chosen path… Like so…

Shintaro turns to the desk of the president of the company and reaches for his desk top lap top. Ereki instinctively clutches at his desk top lap top with both hand to shield it for the dear life of his company.

Shintaro:

Don’t worry… Erekisama… I’m done destroying electronics… for now…

Shintaro materializes a small storage scroll directly into right hand, then he unrolls it onto the desk of the president. Shintaro grabs Ereki’s computer and places it onto the scroll, as Denki walks up to the desk to get a better look. Shintaro performs a quick series of hand seals and places his hands palms down upon the scroll, causing it to disappear, sealed within the scroll.

Shintaro:

Like so…

Shintaro performs another quick series of hand seals, then places his hands upon the scroll again, causing Ereki’s precious desk top lap top to reappear, to his great relief.

Shintaro:

A simple little trick on it’s face… but with potentially large implications… depending upon it’s application… Since the concept of a technological specialist is a relatively new possibility… It may help you to organize your training… to consider an existing shinobi path… that best fits what you want… and train accordingly… The only shinobi paths that I know of… that are even related to science and technology directly in any way… are the path of the medical shinobi on the one hand… which I suspect that you have no talent for… no offense… and the path of the trap ninja… There are variations like sabotage and demolitions… But theses are just sub-specialties of the path of the trap ninja… fundamentally a very technically intensive specialty as it is… a natural fit for a would be techno-ninja… But if you adopt this paradigm as a guide then… you must also master it’s antithesis… in order to fully understand your principle opposition… along your chosen path… And the antithesis of the trap ninja… is the escape artist…

Denki:

Escape artist?…

Shintaro:

Ai… It is equivalent to mastering the tying of knots… in order to master the untying of knots… and visa versa… Of course the principle assets of the escape artist… are preparation on the one hand… and agility on the other… And agility is the principle requirement to master the bo staff effectively… Do you understand your training now?… Wakarimasuka?…

Denki:

Hai!… Wakata!…

Shintaro:

Don’t worry young Denkisama… I happen to be an expert with the bo staff… As well as the fuinjustu that you require to take your devices with you… as well as serve as the traps themselves… Now… Denkisama… Who are these people again?…

Denki:

Theses are the other specialists that I mentioned… some of the ones we’re working with… as part of Konoha’s scientific ninja tool research division…

Shintaro:

Ah yes!… the fellow nerds!… Now we get back to the exploitation part of evening… My principle need for young Denkisama here… can also be said of these two… and the Kaminarimon Company as well!… My son Yukai and I have accumulated a great and varied collection… of all sorts of advanced and exotic technologies in our travels throughout the metaverse… But we can’t go through it all… or make sense of it all… or exploit it at all… by ourselves alone… We need help with all of this… especially that last part… The Kaminarimon Company is just about the only company capable of fully exploiting and industrializing what we have found and collected… and what we may find going forward… These two have come highly recommended by Nara Shikamaru… the hokage’s principle advisor… I need for them to be able to go forward representing your company to others… to some limited extent… in addition to your young son here and his team… Who are these people again?…

Denki:

This is Tono Katasuke sensei… The chief scientist… and his chief assistant the class rep… I mean… Kakei Sumire…

Denki points to the man with brown hair and glasses as he introduces Katasuke sensei, then he points to the kunoichi with the light purple hair.

Shintaro:

Class rep?…

Denki:

Sumirechan… was the class rep of our class… when I was in the academy…

Shintaro:

You two were in the same class as Sarada… Chocho… and Boruto… Sodesuka!…

Class Rep:

Hai!… Sodesu!…

Shintaro:

Very well then… What I said about young Denkisama holds just as much for you two… except for being small… or requiring mastery of the bo staff… And I will be taking full direct personal responsibility for training all of you for this role… You too… Erekisama… If you like… You would do well to follow your son’s example… and train in similar ways… perhaps even training right along with him… You are a veteran of the sealing crews of the last war… are you not?… You would benefit yourself and your son… by leading by example…

The mad magician begins to drill the young would be bo master in the finer points of mastering his new burden. The budding headhunting quartet eventually makes their way to Denki’s place, Kaminarimon Tower, headquarters of the Kaminarimon Company. The group finds their friend in his room, which is really just a study with a bed in it, next to a grand piano in the middle of the study. The group comes in through the large open study window, which opens up to a high tower balcony overlooking Konoha, as per their usual when visiting Denki. Denki stands near the middle of the study obsessively practicing with his bo staff.

Denki:

I don’t have time for that… I have to get stronger… or I’ll never be able to use my technology… I can’t function without my tech!… I don’t have time for some musical rivalry that you insist on having with Sarada and Chocho…

Boruto:

Come on man… We can help you out with your bo staff… sparring or whatever… right guys?… Come on dude… be a dude… dude…

Denki:

Don’t dude me… I’m not necessarily your dude… I don’t have time to be your dude… The future of my ninja way is at stake!… dude!…

Mitsuki:

Dude… I understand your hesitance… But music is it’s own reward… and a power unto itself… From what Inojin tells us… you understand that all too well… dude…

Denki:

Dude?…

Inojin:

Dude… I vouch for the dude…

Denki:

Dude?…

Inojin:

Dude!… See for yourself dude…

The dude named Mitsuki steps up to the dude named Denki, and they perform a familiar set of hand seals between them, and the requisite chimes sound signaling confirmation of classical dude status.

Denki:

Okay dude… But if this doesn’t work out… I’m out dudes…

Boruto:

Okay dude…

Ichikishimahime:

Sounds cool… dudes…

Ichikishimahime suddenly shimmers into view floating in the air above the assembled dudes.

Boruto:

Ichikishichan!!!… Nani!!!… When did you get here?…

Ichikishichan:

I’ve been here all along… and your right… Those girls were putting on airs… You should start a band… Show those brats how to rock and resonate!…

Boruto:

What are doing here in the first place?…

Ichikishichan:

I got tired of waiting for you to summon me for our date… So I came looking for you… to see what you were up to… that you had gotten so busy and forgotten all about me… But this is way better than a date!… I can be your first groupie!… When do we tour?…

Boruto:

You can’t be here!… This is… confidential band business… So you can’t stay!… Or we can’t conduct our confidential band affairs…

Inojin:

Whatever you say dude… Whatever you say…

Ichikishichan:

But… Don’t you like my company?… Don’t you like having me around?…

Boruto:

Eh?… Of course I do… Ichikishichan… But it’s not just my band… So it’s just not up to me…

Shikadai:

We don’t mind… Do we dudes?…

Mituski:

I couldn’t care less either way…

Denki:

The more the merrier… for music… I would think…

Inojin:

Cool with me dude…

Ichikishichan:

See?… The dudes agree!… It’s cool… We’re cool… Aren’t we?…

Boruto:

Of course we are… Totally cool…

Ichikishichan:

So when’s the first rehearsal?… dudes…

Shikadai:

Now… if we’re serious…

Denki:

Serious about what exactly?… What is this… Sage transformation?… chakra resonance… I don’t know how to do any of that… Are you sure I can even do what you expect of me?…

Mitsuki:

I’ve listened your recitals… You can handle it dude… I have the sheet music… for the general form of the Chakra Resonance jutsu… for multiple instruments… My parent gave them to me for study…

Mitsuki materializes a series of sheets of music directly into his hands and distributes copies to Denki and Inojin.

Boruto:

Wow!… I had no idea there was sheet music for that… I’d better get set up…

Boruto materializes a pair of shikigami fabrication produced drumsticks, directly into his hands, and summons a full drum kit next to the grand piano in a flash of purple lightening as he flash transforms into his black fur covered lightening monkey form, sitting at the stool for the kit.

Denki:

Woh!!!… You’re… actually… a monkey?… That’s your sage transformation?… How can I do that?…

Ichikishichan:

I like monkey brains…

Monkey Boruto:

Yeah… right?… Wait… What?… It’s all about the resonance or whatever… We play… and we resonate musically… Then we visualize and transform… Simple right?…

Shikadai:

Somehow… I doubt that it’s just that simple… But if Boruto and Chocho can do it… then anyone can… right?…

Monkey Boruto:

Yeah… right?… Hey!…

Shikadai:

So how does this work exactly?… Your the only one here with actual experience… except for maybe Mitsuki… Who’s gonna lead off?… for starters…

Mitsuki:

First we should get properly set up…

Mitsuki pulls out a small scroll and uses it to conjure forth Inojin’s upright base from storage within the scroll, setting it down next to Boruto’s drum kit and Denki’s grand piano. Then Mitsuki conjures forth an instrument of his own from his scroll, and a six string electric guitar is suddenly formed, with a white flying V body, and a split V head stock. Without plugging it in to anything, Mitsuki uses his lightening style to charge an amplify the vibration of the strings as he strums them, creating a sound worthy of the name heavy metal. Inojin uncovers his upright and begins to study the sheet music that Mitsuki provided. Denki takes his sheet music and takes his seat at the bench behind his grand piano.

Mitsuki:

You should lead us off Denki… Just follow the music… And just try get into it as best you can… Same goes for you… Inojin… Shikadai should probably just follow along with Boruto… or otherwise… watch me for the changes…

Denki:

If you say so… maestro Mistuki…

Denki begins to play his sheet music, and Boruto begins to whistle along with his sparkly  lightening monkey form, indicating a capacity for wind style music in his lightening form. Inojin begins to follow along with the sheet music, plucking rather than bowing his upright base. Shikadai starts to copy Boruto’s whistling on his harmonica, then Boruto and Mitsuki start in together, with Boruto on drums, and Mitsuki on his lightening nature powered flying V. The music plays on and the band begins to grow together in sync, feeding off of each other’s performances, resonating with each other more and more, as Ichikishichan stares at the sparkly monkey behind the drums, and drools with her snake tongue flicking about in excitement.

Boruto ramps up the amplitude of his electric purple aura and begins to emit explosive arc discharges of purple lightening, arcing and striking the surrounding study walls, as his electric purple protective sheath spreads out from him and his drum kit as he plays, covering everyone present, and everything in between and surrounding them. A flash of purple suddenly blinds everyone present, cutting off all of the music suddenly, followed by a dark black funnel cloud blowing through and obscuring everyone and everything except for a small inferno burning where Denki and his grand piano used to be. The black gives way to a thick steamy mist that settles in over the now silent rehearsal, as the inferno dies down to embers in the steamy dark.

The mist begins to clear to reveal some stark changes left behind. Boruto and Ichikishichan have completely disappeared. The figure standing by Inojin’s base appears to be nothing but a black fluid form quivering, with undulating ripples on it’s surface. Mitsuki seems paralyzed, frozen still where he stands still holding his flying V, staring blankly off into space. And where Denki used to sit at his bench, by his grand piano, sits among the smoldering ruin of what used to be Denki’s bench and piano, a thick smoke gray fur covered monkey with a long prehensile tail, and a pair of metal framed glasses just like Denki’s, but with lenses rendered blackened by fire and smoke.

Smoky Monkey:

Is anyone there?… Did I mess it up?… Hello?… I can’t see anything!… I think I broke my glasses!… Can anyone hear me?…

The smoke gray monkey takes off his blackened and ruined glasses, and strains and squints to see what is going on around him.

Smoky Monkey:

Is that you Inojin?… Mitsukikun?…

Frustrated with no response, the smoky monkey feels his way around the ruins of some of the bookshelves, desperately searching blind for something on the shelves. The smoky monkey finds a small case for a spare set of glasses, and places them on his face with great relief, tail wagging and curling with delight. The smoky monkey then takes a more clear and careful look around, with everything now in proper focus.

Smoky monkey:

Inojin?… Mitsuki?… daijoubudesuka?… Is that even you?… Inojin?…

The smoky monkey walks over to the quivering black liquid in the approximate shape of Inojin, standing and quivering next to Inojin’s base. The smoky monkey pokes at the quivering mass with his monkey hand, causing it to ripple and quiver directly in response, almost like quivering black jello.

Black Jello:

Ow… Don’t poke me bro… Not cool… monkey dude…

The quivering black jello seems to vibrate in order to emit sound like Inojin’s voice, but as if from underwater, as the quivering black figure pokes back at the smoky monkey with it’s quivering appendage, causing more quivering reprocussions within the quivering black form. The figure of the frozen and expressionless Mitsuki suddenly fades completely to a non-reflective featureless black form, with a porcelain white mask, with hollow black eye holes, oozing and emerging from the black featureless mass in place of a face.

Seal formula covered paper oozes out from the top of the figures head, and forms an upside down paper bucket on top of the figure’s head, similar to the paper buckets used for some takeout food places. The seal formula disappears from the surface of the bucket, leaving behind a white bucket with the an upside down set of characters that reads ‘Choza’s Fried Chicken! With Special Secret Recipes From Uzushio.’

The bucket headed figure strums his guitar with his pitch black limbs and fingers, and begins to play something that vaguely resembles the Water Style Chakra Resonance Jutsu. As the bucket head plays, The quivering black jello figure begins to quiver more violently, then it takes on all sorts of crazy colors as the quivering black jello becomes a quivering shimmering image of Inojin, that gradually solidifies and stabilizes back into a solid human flesh and blood Inojin.

Inojin:

Woh!… What was that!… Who is That?… What happened to Shikadai and the others?… Who let this mountain monkey in here?… Where is Denki?…

Smoky Monkey:

I’m Denki!… I’ve been transformed!… You just transformed back!… from something… I think Mitsuki helped you make it back!…

Inojin:

Back from what?… And where’s Mitsuki?…

Smoky Monkey:

I think that’s Mitsuki!…

The smoky monkey points at the bucket headed figure.

Inojin:

That’s Mitsuki?!?… the bucket head mime?…

Smoky Monkey:

That bucket head mime just played you back into the flesh… I think you just turned into ink… I don’t know where the others are… I just wish he could play me back too…

Inojin and the smoky monkey stare at the bucket head quietly for a moment.

Smoky Monkey:

I suppose that was too much to hope for…

The door busts open to the study and Shintaro sensei rushes into the room with Ereki, Katasuke, and the class rep following close behind.

Shintaro:

What’s going on in here?!?… What are you kids messing with in here?!?… Do I smell smoke?… 

Just as Shintaro bursts into the study, a loud blood curdling wail is heard echoing throughout the Konoha early evening sky, emanating from a black fur covered giant bat wearing only a pair of pants resembling those previously worn by Boruto, clinging to the flag pole on top of Kaminarimon Tower. The humanoid bat’s extra large pointed ears twitch with adrenaline, as the creatures fangs drool out from an otherwise Boruto shaped black fur covered face, with a single glowing light blue Tenseigan in the middle of the humanoid bat’s face, just like Boruto’s right eye in his lightening monkey form.

The giant humanoid bat’s arms are mostly human, but twice as long as normal proportion, covered in black fur, with only the thumb and the index finger remaining free for use with it’s hands, and with the lower fingers stretched out to form the bat’s wings. A thin black fur covered membrane connects those ‘fingers’ with the side of his torso, forming the bat’s wings. Just above the wailing giant one-eyed bat, floats the titillated Ichikishichan, snake tongue flicking about in excitement.

Ichikishichan:

Best first date ever!!!…

Elsewhere in Konoha, as the beastly wail echoes throughout Konoha, a black funnel cloud blows through the back alley behind Nara Shikadai’s home, and deposits a rolling tumbling humanoid light gray fur covered figure, with a big fluffy light gray tail, rolling and tumbling right into some piled up garbage awaiting collection. The crash of garbage cans echoes throughout the alleyway, competing for attention with the wailing of the Boruto bat.

Two shinobi wearing headbands of Suna come to investigate the noise in the alley, already on alert with the sound of wailing beasts in the air. One is a young blonde kunoichi with a hooded waste length lavender jacket, with the hood over her head and a single large blonde bang hanging down in front of her face. A long blonde ponytail hangs down out of the back of her jacket, down to just beneath her but, covered in a dark red body suit from her neck to just above her ankles. Next to her is a painted mask wearing shinobi with a large spear-like weapon strapped to his back.

Kunoichi:

You heard it Araya… Something crashed out here… And I don’t think Temarisama would pile her garbage so carelessly… But I don’t see what hit them…

Another beastly wail bellows out in the full moonlight of the early evening, further putting the Suna shinobi on edge.

Painted Masked:

Yodo… You’re hearing this right?… You have to be… What could make that sound?… Is that supposed to be one of the tailed beasts?… The nine-tails?…

Yodo:

Iie… It’s not that Araya… I don’t what it is exactly… I can tell where it’s coming from… But I still can’t tell what it is… It’s coming from Kaminarimon Tower… But it doesn’t make sense… It sounds just like… a giant bat… with ultrasonic sonar!… Quite irritating actually… to my extra sensitive ears…

The light gray fur covered figure, with the long fluffy light gray tail, comes stumbling out of the crashed garbage pile. The creature staggers to it’s furry feet, revealing in the clear moonlight a humanoid fox creature, bipedal, with light gray fur covered arms, legs, and torso proportional to a humans, and mostly human hands, with gray fur and claw-like nails on the hands and feet, and a fox’s head, ears, and snout, plus the big fluffy fox tail. Clutched firmly in the creature’s right hand is Nara Shikadai’s harmonica.

Yodo:

Nani?!?… What is that thing supposed to be?… Some fox demon?… It only has one tail though… And it’s way too small…

Gray Fox:

Yodo?… What are you doing here?… When did you get here?… Is uncle Kankuro here too?…

Yodo:

How did you know my name creature?!?… How dare you even speak Kankuro sensei’s name!…

Yodo pulls back her hood, and pulls her long hair out from being tucked away behind her underneath her jacket, and whips it around, using her chakra combined with her hair to create a sonic shock wave directed at the gray fox.

Gray Fox:

Wait!… Yodo!… It’s me!… Shikadai!… Nara Shikadai!… We fought at the chunin exams!… This is my home!…

The wind spontaneously picks up around the gray fox, and whirls about the gray fox, like a protective barrier defense made of wind. The sonic shock wave hits the gray fox’s wind barrier and bounces off of it harmlessly. The wind settles back down again, then the gray fox looks down at his furry hand clutching his harmonica, and wonders out loud.

Gray Fox:

Nani?!?… What happened to me?!?… baca Boruto!!!…

The gray fox feels at his face with his furry hand, and narrows his eyes to look at the snout on his own face, before feeling at the ears on the top corners of his head, higher up than for humans, and far pointier and furrier. Then he reaches back with his hand, and feels at his big fluffy fox tail, pulling it forward to take a good look at it. Then a voice with a cold and ruthless tone calls out from behind the gray fox in the alley. Behind the gray fox stands a shinobi with a Suna headband and short brown hair, dressed in a cloak made entirely of floating black iron sand.

Cold Tone:

Kill it now!… Kill it first and dissect it later!…

Gray Fox:

Dissect it!!!… But Shinki… it’s me!… Shikadai desu!…

Cold Tone:

Urusai!… Baca oni!… Damarei!… Konoha has recently been attacked by demons!… We can’t take any chances!… Konoha is clearly infested!…

Gray Fox:

Shinki!… You know me!… We’re cousins!…

Shinki:

It knows my name!… It must die!…

Gray Fox:

Wait!!!… It’s me!… Shikadai!!!…

Shinki unleashes his black iron sand from his cloak and throws it at the gray fox in the form of a giant black iron fist flying down the alley at the gray fox. The gray fox turns around to face Shinki and throws his arms up in front of him instinctively in a cross block, as if to block the giant black iron fist. Just before the black iron fist hits the gray fox, the giant black iron fist seems to melt away before impact, as if hitting some invisible magnetic field and forming itself to conform to it, taking the shape of a partial bubble around the gray fox, wherever the black iron sand contacts the field.

Shinki:

How did you do that?… What are you?… How did you know my name?…

Shinki retracts his black iron sand back to his cloak.

Gray Fox:

Shikadai desu!!!… Or at least… I used to be… before I transformed… before Boruto’s stupid band idea!… I don’t even know how I did that!… I wasn’t even trying!… I wasn’t even looking!… I wasn’t even trying to transform!… I was just trying to play the music well enough for the band… Then before I knew it… I was tumbling into this ally way behind my house… like this!!!… I can’t even try and play my harmonica again!… not with this snout!…

Upon saying this, the gray fox’s face instinctively and reflexively shifts to a more Shikadai shape, while still covered in gray fur.

Yodo:

Shikadai?…

Gray Fox:

Ahh!… I have a proper mouth again!…

Yodo:

You know… That gray fur may be cute… But it’s not very thick… And your not wearing any pants… Your junk is showing dude…

Gray Fox:

Agggh!!!…

The gray fox turns away from the kunoichi, suddenly bashful for having inadvertently showed off his fur covered, but not hidden, junk. The gray fox raises his harmonica up to his now human shaped mouth, and begins to play the familiar song from before. A black funnel cloud whirls and swirls around the gray fox, then clears away revealing a completely human Nara Shikadai, still naked and clutching his harmonica as he collapses unconscious. The three shinobi gather around the unconscious Shikadai.

Yodo:

He’s still naked… even more naked now… Someone should really get a blanket or something… really…

The giant bat continues to wail atop Kaminarimon Tower, with his floating girlfriend giggling in amusement, as a floating stone toad clone lowers itself down their level from above in order to talk.

Stone Toad:

Silly flying monkey… He sounds grumpy… ya know… Time to go home… Time for time out… for grumpy monkey… ya know…

Ichkishichan:

Ahhh!… Does he have to go home already?… Our date was just getting really good!…

Stone Toad:

Grumpy monkey’s new head hurts… Grumpy monkey needs a nap… Come along grumpy monkey… time to go home… ya know…

The dark crystal Konohamaru training clone, and the magma girl Sarada training clone lower themselves down to the same level as well, and they help the stone toad coral the wild giant one-eyed bat Boruto, and usher him back to the study where Shintaro waits with the bucket head mime and the smoky monkey, along with Ereki and the other normies, including the fretting light purple haired kunoichi in the white lab coat. Ereki is on the phone in the study when the flying training clones usher in the wild giant bat to rejoin them in the study, with Ichikishichan herself ushering in the beast, dragging the creature effortlessly and weightlessly along, literally by it’s scruffy black hair covered chin, with her dainty little hand on his chin, to the ever growing concern of the fretting class rep.

Ereki:

That was Shikamaru… His son has managed to transform back… but is currently unconscious…

Shintaro:

Well… That’s at least one troublemaker who managed to clean up after himself… Now we can focus on the ring leader!… and company…

Smoky Monkey:

Shintaro sensei… What… What are we?… What am I?… And… How do we get back… Somehow… Mitsuki managed to play Inojin back… But he’s been silent and still since then… What’s wrong with him?… Sumimasen… But I ask questions when I’m nervous…

Shintaro:

Well… to start with the simplest question first… You have become what is known as a fire monkey… a fire elemental… known for their powerful fire skills… their speed and agility… as well as their erratic temperament… From your description of Inojin… from before Mitsuki played him back… as you say… Inojin here must have transformed into a pure water form… in the form of ink!… And it seems to have some sort of alternate frame of mind attached to it… Like with Naruto’s stone toad form… or like Boruto’s seemingly more primal form… a howling wind spirit form… Who knows at this point if there is anything left of Boruto’s normal consciousness in this form… in order to coax him back to normal… Mitsuki here… is another kettle of strange fish entirely… He has become what is known as… a bucket head spirit… It is known as a spirit of divine madness… and an agent of chaos… a musical spirit… of divine inspiration… a resonant echo of the abyss… known to only communicate… with music… and violence… sporadically breaking out in demonstrations of skill… with a set of nunchaku… often seemingly just to show off for a few moments… But some times… with far more devastating intent and effect… The moods of the bucket head spirits can be extremely erratic… and unpredictable… According to legend… the first bucket head spirit was a human musician… from before the time of the Otsutsuki… The human in question… was a gifted musician… who adopted a stage persona for the sake of his art… that completely took over his life… until one day… during an especially powerful performance… a rare instance of spontaneous sage transformation occurred… creating the first bucket head spirit… a resonant pattern that now periodically reemerges during especially chaotic times… often as an omen of more chaos to come…

Ereki:

Temarisama said that… Shikadai had become… some kind of gray furry fox man… with some other strange power that they didn’t elaborate on…

The Boruto bat begins to speak in a low grumbling voice.

Boruto:

Blood… Blood smells good…

Ichikishichan:

Here my darling Boruto… You can have a taste of me…

Ichikishichan offers her wrist to the Boruto bat, and the bat grabs her wrist and locks down on it with it’s fangs, and begins to drain Ichikishimahime’s blood, as she giggles.

Smoky Monkey:

ioooh!… Boruto’s a vampire bat?…

Shintaro:

A bat’s gotta drink too… cycle of life… Although… It does seem like they should get a room at least… That’s normally how this sort of thing is done…

Seemingly satiated with Ichikishichan, the bat’s head rears up and back in a moment of bliss, before passing out and hitting the floor, then a black funnel cloud whirls around bat Boruto on the floor, and revealing the normal human Boruto left behind, sleeping on the floor in nothing but a torn pair of pants, as the class rep races over to check out the unconscious Boruto. The magma girl training clone hovers closer to Boruto, as the class rep and the new girl dote on the unconscious Boruto.

Ichikishichan:

Just who are you supposed to be?… And just what do you think you are doing?…

Class Rep:

I’m… I’m a trained medical ninja… and an old friend of Boruto’s!… an older friend than you!… whoever you are… I was the class rep when we were at the academy together…

Ichikishichan:

I’m far older than I look… girlfriend… So your the class rep I’ve heard so much about… I’m not going anywhere… class rep… So get used to seeing me around… If you last that long…

Magma Sarada:

We’ll be watching for it… And we’ll see who lasts… And she’s our class rep… not yours…

Shintaro:

Well… That simplifies things somewhat… Now we just have to deal with the the other monkey boy… and the magical mystery mime… It’s too bad your piano was destroyed Denki… Then you could have attempted to play yourself back…

Smoky Monkey:

Play myself back?… How would that work?… Shintaro sensei…

Shintaro:

The same way you played yourself there normally… Although… normally this sort of thing is attempted one element at a time… to simplify things… But you used the general Chakra Resonance Jutsu… Normally only used for generalized healing or chakra support… Your transformations seem to have all been over the map… I don’t know if you can just play yourself back… But if you had your piano still… you could at least try… But I don’t have any templates for pianos…

The magical mystery mime touches one of his pitch black hands down upon the floor and  the black mass of his substance spreads over to a large free space on the floor, then rises up off the floor and takes the pitch black non-reflective shape of a grand piano and a black bench, with only the pristine translucent white keys to penetrate the pitch black dark of the musical shadow. The magical mystery mime begins to strum his flying V guitar, and play a familiar general Chakra Resonance Jutsu. The smoky monkey leaps and bounds over to land on the shadow piano bench, and begins to play along for dear life. Shintaro makes a paper clone so that he can play his biwa, and he can put his clone to work playing his ocarina, then they both begin to play along. The magical mystery mime then launches into a series of solos, playing over the smoky monkey’s piano, reacting to and egging it on with call and response.

Shintaro:

Remember young master Denki… and master mime… There is no set way back… Even the music is not necessarily required… And eventually won’t be necessary at all… But for now… play the music… resonate with it… visualize and remember… who and what you used to be… assuming you can still remember that… and resonate with that… then transform…

Smoky Monkey:

But I don’t know how to transform!… I don’t even know how I transformed before!…

Shintaro:

You’re over thinking it!… Don’t think about it!… Resonate!… And feel your way through it!… like you did before!…

The music grows louder and more frenzied, and a dark thick smoke begins to emanate from the smoky monkey at the shadow piano bench, then spreads to engulf the magical mystery mime. Two flaming figures erupt in flames that blow through and disperse, leaving behind a restored normal Mitsuki, cloths and all, and a bare naked but human Denki, wearing nothing but a pair of blackened and smoked out glasses.

Denki:

Those were my last pair!…

Shintaro unleashes a flurry of shikigami paper out from his loose hanging sleeves, that swirl around Denki, then condenses and transmutes into a set of white silk monk’s robes, clothing Denki.

Mitsuki:

Nani?… What… just happened?… What… was I?…

Shintaro:

That may be a bit of a long complicated conversation… Have you ever heard of the Bucket Head Spirit… To make a long story short… you have now become the latest manifestation… of the Bucket Head phenomenon… What do you remember?…

Mitsuki:

Nothing but a dream… But I don’t normally dream… So I can’t entirely vouch for my own comparison…

Shintaro:

Perhaps now I suspect… you may begin to dream far more often… You might want to indulge in that… as much as you can… and get used to it… If you want to master your new form… rather than have it master you…

Inojin:

What about me?… What am I supposed to do?… Mitsuki played me back… and he probably doesn’t remember how he did it!…

Mitsuki:

Not exactly…

Shintaro:

Even with the formidable power of the Bucket Head Spirit… Mitsuki could not have played you back against your will unless you could have done so all along… and simply needed to be enticed to do so… Pied Piper Style… a classic… If that’s the case… you may be able to go back and forth already… But the mental state described by Denki here suggests that… wanting to come back may be the real problem… The only danger to your new form… is that you may like it so much… you may not want to come back… And some day… you just might not… But there is no point in complaining about that now… Like it or not… your transformations are a part of you now… refraining from training for them… Doesn’t solve the problem that you’ve created for yourselves… a nice problem to have by the way… but still a problem… Inojin… Try transforming now without the music… there and back again… if you can… Try remembering the sounds of the music in your head… and try to resonate with it in your imagination… without playing it… Try remembering how it felt… resonate with it… and replicate it… And to reverse… you have to be able to resonate with your memory of who and what you used to be… and want be it again…

Inojin closes his eyes and begins to concentrate, imagining the sounds of the music in his head from memory. Inojin then begins emit a black steam and quiver like jello as he turns pitch black, but shiny, like the surface of a shiny quivering black liquid ink.

Inkojin:

Cool… I like me some liquid vibes… I know what you mean man… Why go back?… just to play with ink?… I am the ink!… I can play with myself… Woh!… That’s funny!… That makes my stomach quiver funny… And I don’t even have a stomach anymore!… That’s the funniest part!…

Inkojin begins to quiver extra intensely for a moment as the shiny black surface begins to take on a rainbow of colors, like a drawn colored ink version of himself, as if done with the Super Beast Scroll Jutsu in Inojin’s own art style.

Shintaro:

I’m glad you’re happy with your new self… But now we need to see your old self again… Just so we know you can do it… Or you can’t be allowed to be in the band…

Inkojin:

Ahww!… Bogus!… You can’t kick me out of our band!… Slow your role teach!… School’s out here!… called on account of bogus!…

Inkojin begins to quiver and steam violently again, eventually solidifying back into the fully solid human form of Inojin, restored fully clothed, transformed exactly back to the original un-transformed state.

Inojin:

That’s so cool!… And I can go back and forth!… What about Denki?… And what about Shikadai?… He’s not even here!…

Shintaro:

Shikadai and Boruto have at least shown a capacity to find their own way back… by one means or another… And they are both unconscious at the moment… Denki has shown a capacity to play himself back with help at least… Mitsuki’s Bucket Head Spirit form is the real wild card… But he has already demonstrated the skill to play others back… as well as himself…

Hearing all this, young Denki closes his eyes and recounts the now familiar score from memory. The surface of Denki’s body begins to billow black smoke, then he bursts into flames that then die down to reveal the smoky gray mountain monkey form from before. The smoky monkey leaps up into the air in triumph, landing upside down on the underneath of the chandelier, hanging there for moment, then dropping and emitting the black smoke again on the way down, landing on the floor in a flash of flame, revealing the naked human Denki again. Denki hands shoot up in triumph again, until he realizes he’s naked again and covers up with both hands. Shintaro again uses his shikigami fabrication technique to cloth Denki in a set of white silk monk’s robes.

Denki:

I did it!… But I can’t see without my glasses!… And I lose all my cloths!…

Shintaro:

There are tricks that I can show you to deal with that… The fire monkey form can be very powerful… If you can master it’s possibilities… But like I told Sarada… If you take care of the little things… the big things become more manageable… with a more concentrated focus… without being distracted by the little things… But of course now that you have the capacity to do so… you must now train to do so… But you may have found your own solution… to some of the things we talked about before…

Human form Boruto slumbers in his partially torn pants, as the class rep Kakei Sumire administers medical ninjutsu, slowly infusing chakra into the unconscious Boruto, as the new chick stares at the class rep, and magma girl Sarada hovers in protective vigil.

Magma Sarada:

Daijoubudeska?… Mitsuki?… Are you okay?…

Mitsuki:

I will be… I think…

There Is No Alone!

Forever Never Ending!

There Is No Escape!

There Is No Point In Pretending!