The Mad Sage Of Uzushio, A Naruto Fan Fiction:
Chapter #5: Don’t Make The Uchiha Angry!
Ozymandias The Mad! Please Give Me Money To Keep A Mad Scientist Off The Street!
Mad Ozzy's Circular Suggestion Bin: Ozymandias360@protonmail.com
Wordpress: https://ozymandiasthemad.wordpress.com/2021/11/08/chapter-5-dont-make-the-uchiha-angry/
Subscribe Star: https://www.subscribestar.com/ozymandiasthemad
Chapter 5
Don’t Make The Uchiha Angry!
You Won’t Like Them When They’re Angry!
In the aftermath of Shintaro’s demonstration campaign, Naruto, Sasuke, and the other combatants, converge upon Naruto’s house, following Naruto inside where they find Shintaro’s main original body, still sitting on Naruto’s couch, surrounded by friends and family, having tea and dumplings, with only Kakashi and Choza missing from the party. As the former combatants filter in Ishitara grabs her hat and puts it back on before they can see.
Sasuke:
What the hell was that all about?!?… Explain yourself!!!…
With his sword still in hand, Sasuke brandishes it in Shintaro’s direction, with his red Rinne Sharingan glaring, an offshoot combination of the Rinnegan and the Sharingan.
Shintaro:
Now… Calm down grandson…
Sasuke:
Don’t tell me to calm down!!!… And stop calling me grandson!… I’m not your grandson!… Stop telling lies about the Uchiha!… any Uchiha!!!…
Shintaro:
It’s not a lie!… And I can prove it… Whether or not you want to know… is up to you…
Sasuke:
How can you prove that?!?…
Shikamaru:
We sent out Kakashi a while ago… to fetch Sakura and Shizune… in order to conduct genetic tests to verify everything… and not just his claim about you… Although we’ve already essentially established… to some extent… that he is who he says he is… and he really is Naruto’s uncle… at a minimum…
Sasuke:
Sakura’s coming?… For genetic testing?… Fine… Do the test… But if it turns out you’re lying to me… I’ll kill you my self… with this brand new arm you gave me…
Sasuke holds up his new left hand and instantly turns on the full power of his Chidori in the palm of his left hand, as a visible display, somewhat in vain for the blind Shintaro, save for the appearance of chakra to Shintaro’s chakra sense, and the crackling, buzzing, and popping sound, of high amplitude electricity in air, before turning it off again, and lowering his hand back down.
Sasuke:
But in the mean time… I have more than few questions about what happened this morning… and I demand answers!…
Shintaro:
That is perfectly fine by me… But can we at least sit down… and have tea and dumplings… in a civilized manner… while we do so?… As I was explaining before… I have many long stories to tell… and the answers… to many of your questions… will no doubt lie within some of those stories…
Sasuke:
Ai… That will be perfectly fine by me…
Sasuke sheathes his sword, then removes it and it’s scabbard from their normal position hanging from a strap behind him, as he sits down on the couch next to Shintaro where Kakashi was sitting before, and places his sword leaning against the couch next to him, close at hand.
Shintaro:
Naruto… Sasuke… This is my youngest daughter Ishitara… and my son Yukai… Karui is also my daughter… and they are your cousins… whether you choose to believe that or not… My daughter could never be completely forthcoming until now… for a variety of sensitive reasons… as I explained earlier before you got here… Before my little… demonstration…
Sasuke:
Demonstration?!?…
Shintaro:
Ai… A demonstration of power… the only thing baca shinobi ever seem to understand and respect… After my demonstration… I’m sure that I can count on your undivided attention… at a minimum…
Hinata:
What did happen this morning?!?…
Shintaro:
Sasuke and Sarada were setup… and ambushed… by a demon mob… because of a flesh bounty placed on Sasuke’s head… by some provincial bureaucrat of the Otsutsuki Empire…
Sasuke:
You must be joking!…
Shintaro:
It’s all perfectly true… My son and I only got word of the ambush in time… to show up when we did… The details are somewhat unclear… But probably unimportant… given the nature of the Otsutsuki bureaucracy… But… Supposedly… it’s all a result of some report… filed by someone called… Urashiki?…
Sasuke:
Urashiki is dead… I helped see to it…
Shintaro:
Well… good for you!… But his report lives on… and it was rather colorful… and featured you highly… I have a copy… Apparently… you must have really pissed him off… because you definitely made a big impression… From what I’ve read in the report… he essentially blamed you for the death of Momoshiki and his attendant… calling you a One-Armed Bandit… a description… that may have to be updated now… That’s just the way it goes with the empire… Some stupid report… by some stupid mid-level crab… of the Otsutsuki crab-bucket-bureaucracy… reaches some other stupid crab of the same bucket… The second crab decides that he sees an opportunity to get one leg up on the other crabs… and… Bam!… Just like that!… You’re a fugitive from the demon hoard bounty hunters and mercenaries of the Otsutsuki crab-bucket-empire… for life… however much longer that may be… This… is actually not that much… This is really only the beginning… From here things will only escalate… None of you can afford to so careless… and ignorant… when dealing with the Otsutsuki… When dealing with the Otsutsuki… you are not simply dealing the enemy in front of you… that you can simply fight… and destroy… to make the problem go away… they are an empire… a system… a banal bureaucracy of evil… of parasitical and degenerate crabs… in the crab bucket of the Otsutsuki Empire… All glossed over… with a veneer of divine conceit… the divine conceit of vain and presumptuous crabs… masquerading as false gods… The Otsutsuki… are a vast empire… with the Otsutsuki Clan itself… numbering in the hundreds of millions… with each and every one of them possessing… at least some sort of visual powers… almost from birth all reigning… over an empire… of several trillion human livestock… to feed the trees… to produce the fruit… to make the pills… to keep the clan happy… to expand the empire… and keep the whole bloody racket going… quite literally for all eternity… in their belief…
Sarada:
Human livestock?…
Shintaro:
Ai… Quite so… Their so-called divine trees… are nothing… but trees of parasitical deprivation and misery… slowly sucking the chakra out of all life on the planet… wherever they are planted… especially human life… they’re favorite fertilizer… But that’s not the only use they have for human livestock… The flesh markets and dispensaries of the Otsutsuki Empire… facilitate the care and feeding… as well as the growth and control… of some of their most prized assets… the demon hoards… of the meta-verse… That is the reward… that awaits the demons chasing after your bounty…
Sarada:
You’re awfully talkative for a shinobi…
Shintaro:
I am not shinobi!… I never was!… I was an onmiogi… a doctor… and an exorcist… I was many things… But I was never a baca shinobi!…
Sarada:
You were a doctor?…
Shintaro:
Yes… In fact… I was Tsunade’s first instructor… in the medical arts… And so… by the transitivity of apprenticeship… that effectively makes your mother my apprentice… by default… as the apprentice of my apprentice…
Sasuke:
Don’t get familiar!… Baca Sennin!…
Naruto:
Sasuke!…
Sarada:
Baca Sennin is about right…
Konohamaru:
Sarada!…
Kiba:
I’m with Sarada and Sasuke… Baca Sennin fits him just fine…
Shintaro:
Urusai!… Baca Inu!… Grumpy shinobi sounds hungry… Does doggy boy… want a doggy bowl?… Or can he somehow manage to serve himself in a civilized manner… similar to us humans?…
Kiba grumbles low to himself, in a manner that almost resembles the growl of an angry dog, as he reaches over, and grabs a cup of tea, and a stick of dumplings, jamming the dumplings into his face, as a demonstration of petty defiance, before taking a seat at the dining table in between the kitchen and the couch where Shintaro sits, joined by Lee and Konohamaru at the table. Sarada then notices her friend with the new set of starlight peepers on full display.
Sarada:
Chocho?!?… What happened to… your eyes?!?… What are you doing here?… What do you know about this?… What did you know about this?…
Chocho:
I don’t know everything… I don’t really know much of anything… that I can firmly trust… Mama says… granpa Shintaro is crazy… and that I shouldn’t listen to him… or repeat any of the things he says…
Karui:
That’s right!… Not a word of it!… Like I keep telling you… Keep listening and eventually… you will agree with your mother…
Yukai:
Come on sis… Let it go already…
As Shintaro’s son Yukai comes to his defense, Sarada recognizes him as the Kumo shinobi from this morning.
Sarada:
You!… Your the shinobi that zapped me this morning!…
Sasuke:
Zapped?!?…
Yukai:
Sumimasen!… Sumimasen cuz!… But we were pressed for time and… like I said… We didn’t have time… for long explanations…
Shintaro:
The eyes… are called Starlight Rinnegan… Please… Do not hold my son Yukai responsible… for actions taken on my behalf… and in accordance… with my instructions and wishes… And Sarada… Please don’t hold it against Chocho… for not telling you what she knew of various things… for it was I… even more so than her mother… who forbid her from talking about certain family matters… outside of… immediate family… But… As I explained before you got here… the time for keeping such secrets… is over…
Sasuke:
What if I’m not in a forgiving mood?…
Shintaro:
Then your going to have to take it up with me first!… Sasukesama!…
Sasuke:
I thought I was suppose to be your grandson…
Shintaro:
I thought you didn’t want me to call you that… Eh?… Tsunadesama?…
Sasuke:
Tsunadesama?…
The front doorbell of Naruto’s home rings again and Shintaro’s face turns pale as his head turns, as if to look in the direction of the front door. Naruto goes to check the door, as everyone seems to take notice of the sudden change in the mood of the mad magician. As Naruto returns to the living room, he is followed behind by Kakashi and Sai carrying various portable medical equipment boxes. Sai is a pale faced and dark haired shinobi, with a large scroll strapped to his back behind him. Following shortly behind them were the medical ninja Sakura and Ino, along with Lady Shizune, their senpai and fellow apprentice of Tsunade.
Sai’s wife Ino follows in tightly behind Sakura with long blonde hair bound up in a pony tail, wearing a long sleeveless purple dress with a bare midriff. The brown haired Shizune follows in behind in a simple long sleeveless black kimono, appearing a bit more personally distraught than warranted under the circumstances.
Kakashi:
Shintaro sensei… This is Sakura… She’s Sasuke’s wife… As well as one of the best medical shinobi in Konoha… She will be conducting the genetic tests… that will hopefully resolve any questions Sasuke and Naruto may have about you…
Shintaro:
I am well aware of Sakura’s reputation as an apprentice of Tsunade… But… Who… are you?…
As shintaro says this, he lifts up his hand and points directly at Shizune.
Kakashi:
Eh?… This is Lady Shizune… She is also an apprentice of Tsunade… I asked her to come along and help Sakura conduct the tests… along with Ino here… Is there any problem with that?…
Shintaro:
No!… None at all!… I was just caught off guard for a moment… Your chakra… is shockingly similar to that of my old friend Tsunade’s… For a moment… I actually thought she was here… A poor old blind man’s wishful thinking perhaps…
Karui:
Liar…
Shintaro:
Hush Karui!…
Shizune:
I… We’ll need… fresh samples… from everyone concerned…
Shintaro:
I’m more happy to cooperate… for any apprentice of Tsunade’s… Congratulations… by the way… on your upcoming new addition…
Kakashi:
Eh?!?… New addition?!?…
Shintaro:
Yes… One among many here in Konoha at the moment… I can sense that the condition is rampant throughout Konoha… There is a veritable baby boom going on in Konoha right now… No doubt a consequence and aftermath of the incident at the chunin exams a while ago… Such incidents often lead to a baby boom… as people like to celebrate the ending of the difficulties… and take celebratory comfort in each other’s arms…
Shizune:
How?… How did you know exactly?…
Shintaro:
I always know… I am never wrong in these matters… I can sense it in their chakra… the chakra of a pregnant woman shines especially bright… in my way of seeing things… in a matter of speaking… I can sense it in your chakra… Just as easily as I can sense that… Ino is it?… Ino… as well as Sakura… Hinata… and my own daughter Karui as well… are also pregnant…
Ino looks over at Sai, reacting to the startling reveal.
Ino:
We haven’t even told Inojin yet!…
Karui:
Urusai!… Baca jiji!… I only just found out myself!… Why can’t you just let people keep their own damn secrets?!?…
Choji:
Papa!… Papa!… I’m a papa again!…
Karui:
Ai Choji… You did it again… Congratulations… You proved your potency yet again…
Hinata:
But?!?… But I’m not… pregnant?!?… I would know if I was pregnant… Right?… Papa?…
Hiashi and Hannabi both activate their Byakugans and take a good look for themselves.
Hiashi:
It looks like I’m going to be a granpa again!!!…
Naruto:
Yosh!!!… I knew it!… Ya know!…
Hinata:
Nani?!?…
Hannabi:
That’s right big sis!… It’s plain as day!… Oi!… Brother-in-law!… You better be really good to my big sister… Because clearly she’s being really good to you!…
Sasuke:
He’s right about you too… Isn’t he?… Sakura?… I knew it this morning… I sensed it… But I wanted to go to that fancy dinner you were talking about… and watch you fret and toil about the best way to drop the baby news on me and Sarada… I got caught daydreaming… about the future… and I almost lost everything… in the present… We should have just stayed home and had breakfast…
Sarada:
Mama?…
Sakura:
Ai Sarada… I’m pregnant…
Naruto makes his way over and gives Hinata a big celebratory hug.
Sakura:
Oi!… Be careful with her!… Let me examine you properly… for a proper diagnosis… For the genetic tests… we’ll need a fresh blood sample… from everyone… For best results… in terms of accuracy… fresh blood will be needed…
Shintaro:
Fine!… poke away!… The sooner we take care of this… the sooner your husband can stop burning holes in me with his eyes… I can feel his eyes on me… It’s worse than the Ameterasu!…
As Hinata and Sakura head up stairs for some privacy, Himawari in tow, still tethered to mommy, Naruto reaches over to Sasuke with his fist, wearing a big stupid grin. Sasuke turns to Naruto, before returning the fist bump, and then resuming his standard practiced aloof disposition. Kakashi and Sai carry the medical equipment upstairs to help set up for the genetic tests, while Ino goes and collects a sample from Sasuke, and Shizune approaches Shintaro to do the same.
Shintaro:
So… you were also… Tsunade’s apprentice?…
Shizune:
Hai!… Shintaro sensei!…
Shintaro:
Your chakra is so similar… to Tsunade’s… are you… any relation of hers?… by chance?…
Shizune:
Distantly…
Shintaro:
How distantly?…
Shizune:
That is a private matter!…
Shintaro:
Ouch!…
Shizune jabs the needle in a bit hard, with hands shaking slightly. After taking the sample from Sasuke, Ino goes over to a beaming Naruto, as he celebrates with his father-in-law Hiashi, and his sister-in-law Hannabi.
Ino:
Naruto… We should get a sample from you too… Just to verify everything completely…
Naruto:
Hai! Hai!… And congratulations!… Ya know!…
Ino:
Ai… Domo… and to you as well…
Shizune:
These tests will take at least half an hour to perform… maybe as much as three or four…
Shintaro:
Be sure to head back down quickly… You wouldn’t want to miss story time… I was planning to start… with the day I met Sasuke’s grandmother!… the granddaughter of Uchiha Madara!… Something of interest to all of the Uchiha… as well as everyone here!… So… by all means… be sure to join us yourself… if you can… I’m sure you’ll find all of my stories interesting as well…
Shizune and Ino take their samples upstairs to conduct the test. Chocho approaches Sarada, sensing an emotional opening provided by the baby news.
Chocho:
Cool huh?… Were both going to be new siblings together!…
Chocho tries to break the ice and gets no response, as Sarada continues to ignore her friend and simply stares at her father. Chocho gives up for now, and simply goes back over to her mother for a hug.
Sasuke:
How do you know this woman… that you think is my grandmother… is somehow… Uchiha Madara’s granddaughter?… This tale is already too tall!…
Shintaro:
I knew… because everyone knew… And she hated that!… She… and her best friend Tsunade… both hated the expectations thrust upon them… because of who their dead grandfathers were… That was what brought them together as friends… to begin with… It was largely that very same legacy that threatened a major scandal… just for me… as an Uzumaki… to be associated with her… in any way romantically… We even double dated for a time… with Tsunade pretending to date me… and your grandmother pretending to date Jiraiya!… Which Jiraiya was more than willing to do… because then he could go on date with Tsunade for real… or as for real as he could… Which she enjoyed… even though Tsunade always feigned disinterest in him… because he was always such a goofball!…
Hiashi:
I’ll say!…
Naruto:
Hey!…
Hiashi:
We were all told… that she died in childbirth… along with her child!… How did you ever learn otherwise…
Shintaro:
I learned of the child’s survival… the day I first met her… as one of my patients… My little sister Kushina… Naruto’s mother… had become best friends with her at the academy… I suspect my little sister probably approached her… not really knowing anything about the history… other than the fact that there was tension between the clans… but not really knowing why… Since she wasn’t allowed to know… And I thought she would be better off in Konoha if she didn’t know…
Karui:
That sounds like a familiar rationalization…
Shintaro:
Hush Karui!… She was pregnant with her first child Itachi by then… and having some difficulties with the pregnancy… As a renowned healer… from before my political troubles… my sister insisted on bringing her to see me for a consultation… At that point in time… by the orders of the five kage… I had been restricted in my movements to a high valley in between two peaks… just west of Konoha… essentially my prison… And forbidden to have any visitors… Not even my sister was allowed technically… But Konoha was in charge of enforcing my prison conditions… and old man Hiruzen… not only didn’t particularly care too… he often would still send me students to train in secret… including my sister and the future Fourth Hokage… Kushina’s future husband… and Naruto’s father… I even maintained correspondence with old friends like Jiraiya and Orochimaru… before Orochimaru went completely rogue… devastating Jiraiya and Tsunade… Technically speaking… all of those restrictions are still in place… I could be in serious trouble just sitting here… I might even have to go on the run…
Sasuke:
Stop joking around and get back to the part about my mother!…
Shintaro:
Hai! Hai!… Sasukesama!… They came to visit me in my mountain prison… As she approached… I could sense her familiar chakra… Momentarily… I almost thought that it was my Phoenix Flower… brought back to life… But she was much younger… And as she got closer… I recognized some of my own chakra within her… And then I knew… But I said nothing… My sister brought her to me… innocently knowing nothing of the tragic story of her own mother… let alone me… her notorious terrorist father… She was happy… She was starting a new family… And… for all our troubles… the Uchiha Clan… took very good care of my daughter… All I could do for her besides being her doctor… would simply be to gratuitously ruin her happiness with the truth… for no good reason besides my own vanity… So I let it be… saying nothing… not even to my sister… As it worked out… I also realized why my Phoenix Flower had perished in the first place… Your mother Mikoto… was suffering from a common ailment of pregnancy… common to the Uzumaki… The Uzumaki tend to run a little hotter than most… and this is also true of Uzumaki pregnancies… which can lead to a destabilization of the pregnancy… causing potential complications… Of course normally… no one would necessarily expect to see a common Uzumaki condition… within an Uchiha pregnancy… unless of course they knew the secret backstory… No doubt when Mikoto’s mother Mikono had her own late stage typical Uzumaki pregnancy… there was simply no one among the Uchiha who would even know of the issue… let alone recognize it as such… or know the treatment…
Sasuke:
What was this… treatment?…
Shintaro:
A special herbal blend made originally in Uzu… known commonly as Uzu tea… It serves as a general palliative… helping to soothe the nerves and regulate one’s chakra… somewhat popular in general… often prescribed for those purposes… but also essential for dealing with Uzumaki pregnancies…
Sasuke:
Sakura serves that all the time at home… She said she started using it when she was pregnant with Sarada… Tsunade prescribed it for her pregnancy originally… I remember that it reminded my of the smell… from the tea that my mother would be brewing all the time… but I had no idea why…
Naruto:
Tsunade prescribed that for Hinata too… But I like it so much… I drink it everyday… It’s good stuff… Ya know!…
Shintaro:
Makes me wonder if she knew…
Sasuke:
If who knew what?…
Shintaro:
If Tsunade knew… that you were my grandson… Knowing of the Uzumaki condition and it’s treatment… perhaps she just applied a familiar treatment… to a similar condition… without necessarily knowing fully why it was really necessary…
Sasuke:
Why weren’t you there?… Why weren’t you with her?… You could have saved her… right?…
Shintaro:
I simply wasn’t allowed to be with her… By the intervention of the Uchiha Clan… the Uzumaki Clan… and the authorities of Konoha… our marriage had to be forbidden… in order to prevent the break out of a blood feud… between the clans… right in the middle of the Second Great Ninja War… for fear of the power that might result… as well as the backlash from that… if it were revealed… and the resulting fight over who would control it… Although… I must confess… this was owed more to the Uzumaki Clan… than the Uchiha… Most people are familiar with the history of the long suffering blood feud between the Uchiha and the Senju clans… As cousins of the Senju… the Uzumaki were always on the opposite side of that fight from the Uchiha… if they were involved at all… The Senju eventually made peace with the Uchiha… But the Uzumaki were generally not so forgiving as our Senju cousins… The Uzumaki are probably the only clan that can surpass the Uchiha in terms of an ability to hold a grudge… I was no different when I first came to Konoha… My little sister was a far better person than I… or most Uzumaki in that respect at the time… for sure… In the end… my Phoenix Flower chose to go with her clan… In that instant… I momentarily felt… like I was betrayed… But I understood… I realized all too late… that my own foolish and reckless fairy tale plan for happiness… was nothing but a self-indulgent fantasy… that jeopardized everything I held dear… especially my Phoenix Flower herself… and our then as yet unborn child… And so I turned my wrath towards my own clan… especially to my own father… again… self-indulgently… nearly killing him… and half of the Uzumaki that came with him to help force my return to Uzushio… To this day… I don’t know what shred of sanity helped stay my hand… because at that moment… I felt anything but sane… But I did not yet know true madness… until I received word of the death of my Phoenix Flower and our child… in childbirth…
Sakura and Hinata come back downstairs and back into the living room, with Himawari still tethered and beaming a giddy child’s smile, followed close behind by Ino and Sai, as well as lady Shizune and Kakashi. The shinobi at the dining table clear away to make room for Sakura and Hinata, soon joined by an anxious Naruto, as a now untethered Himawari grabs her cushion from before and sets it down on the floor next to Ishitara and her koto, soon joined by Hannabi, grabbing the cushion Hinata was using and setting on the floor next to her niece.
Naruto:
Well?…
Hinata:
It’s confirmed!!!…
Naruto:
It’s confirmed?!?… It’s confirmed!!!… It’s confirmed Ya know!!!…
Sasuke:
Ai… Ai… Congratulations on your confirmation…
Shizune:
The tests are under way… But there is no telling when exactly the analysis will be completed… It will take at least half an hour… But it could take much longer…
As Shizune says this, she appears nervous as she stares intently at Shintaro. Oblivious to the stares of the people around them noticing her state, Shizune takes a seat next to Sakura at the dining table, still staring at Shintaro.
Karui:
Come on Chocho… prime real estate just opened up… Let’s go and take it… before someone else does…
Karui takes her seat in the spot vacated by Hannabi, sliding her sword and scabbard out of it’s sash and leaning it up against the side of the couch where she sits, close at hand, like Sasuke opposite her, with Chocho sitting in between Karui and Hiashi on the other end of the couch. Sarada moves in and sits next to her father on the couch, in between Sasuke and the mad magician. Boruto and Himawari go out to the hallway storage closet and bring back lots of extra pillows and cushions for the over capacity guests to at least get comfortable on the floor while waiting for the next bombshells to drop.
Then the doorbell rings again. This time Boruto goes to the door and comes back with Choza carrying two extra large bottles of sake, followed by a couple of burly Akimichi’s carrying several large bags of takeout, with each bag bearing the crest of the Akimichi Clan like a brand logo. Choza’s employees leave the bags in the kitchen, on the breakfast bar, and on the dining table, as well as the coffee table in front of Shintaro and Sasuke, before leaving the private party with deliveries made.
Choza:
I brought extra medication… just in case things go as they normally do whenever Shintaro’s around… plus some emergency catering… just because… you know… being Akimichi…
Sasuke:
Fantastic!… Not only do I feel a medicinal need coming on… but I’m also starving… I missed breakfast after all… I don’t know what these new arms are made of… but it sure as hell wasn’t breakfast…
Naruto heads over to the kitchen to fetch plates and cups, then helps Choza with the distribution. Meanwhile, the silent young maiden Ishitara, quietly gets up from the floor where her koto lies, and walks over very delicately and daintily, grabs a tea cup, and a bag of dumplings. She proceeds to daintily walk back to her koto on the floor, eases herself down, and then proceeds to scarf down dumplings like a starving Akimichi. Yukai also sits down protectively, next to his little sister on the floor, sliding out his swords from the sash around his waste, and setting them on his lap, with a cup of sake in his hand.
Hiashi:
Bar Keep!… How about a little something for us veterans?…
Hannabi:
Hey!… Don’t forget about us working shinobi!…
Yukai reaches up with his hand in mid air, then poof, a gourd of sake appears in his hand out of nowhere, before he begins to poor.
Yukai:
It always helps to come prepared… whenever Pops starts to tell stories again…
Hannabi:
How did you do that?… I need to learn that trick!…
Yukai:
A simple glorified slight-of-hand technique… of the Uzumaki legacy… the tip of the iceberg really… It gets far darker on more mysterious from there…
Shintaro:
Don’t oversell it kid… Wow… She must be cute… I can’t really tell… being blind an all…
Having delivered good service, Choza finally grabs a suitable Akimichi sized assortment of goodies, then heads out on to the deck through the screen door, with what’s left of one of the big bottles of sake, having left the other one with Shikamaru at the breakfast bar. Then Choza sits down on the edge of the deck, by the screen door opening nearby to his old friend Shintaro, Then motions to his son Choji to join him.
Choza:
I for one… would prefer to be out on the deck… with the fresh air… and all the lovely new flowers… your handiwork in the garden?… Eh?… Shintaro?… He did something similar at my home… months ago… you should see the place!… Choji!… Choji!… Come out here and keep your father company!… And we can talk about the joy of making babies!… Ha! Ha! Ha!…
Hiashi:
I thought you said that you had a gardener do that!…
Choza:
I did!… I just didn’t say who the gardener was!…
Choji, charged with the stupendous news of further proof of his male potency, almost forgets that he’s in trouble for keeping secrets from his best friend, as he looks over to his friend and newly minted self-anointed slave master Shikamaru, for leave to join his father.
Shikamaru:
Go ahead… But don’t go too far… Just stay within whip range… just in case I need to crack it!…
After Shikamaru says this, he raises up his hand to point at his own two eyes, before then pointing them at Choji, to let him know that he would be watching, before taking another sip of sake. Choji proceeds to grab a bag of goodies and his sake cup, and then heads out to his father. On the way, he stops by Karui and Chocho, cuddling on the couch. Choji leans in and whispers.
Choji:
Daijoubu desuka?…
Karui:
Ai… Go be with your father… I have Chocho to keep me out of trouble… I won’t cause any more trouble… You don’t have to worry about me… My father is another matter… But you know how he is by now…
Choji then continues past them and out onto the deck, taking his place on the edge of the deck as directed. Naruto then approaches and leans down to talk to Ishitara.
Naruto:
Konichiwa Ishitara… My name is Naruto… I’m your father’s nephew… That makes us cousins… like your father said… ya know… sodesuka?… Ishitara?…
Himawari:
She doesn’t talk Papa… Her brother said that she’s… broken?… She communicates with her music!… and her scroll!… She said she can do the Super Beast Scroll!…
With quick fluid movement of the hands and fingers, waving her hand over the scroll. Animated and controlled, by Ishitara’s chakra, the ink spreads itself over the scroll, morphing and shaping itself, reforming the readable symbols and characters on the scroll, forming a new message for Naruto as he reads it off.
Naruto:
‘Konichiwa… Naruto… Nice to meet you… You have… a lovely home’… Wow!… That’s an incredibly useful jutsu to have… ya know!… That is just like the super beast scroll!… Your studying that jutsu… right?… Himachan?… You could learn something from her!… Ya know!…
Himawari:
I hope so Papa!…
Naruto:
That’s a lovely hat your wearing… Would you like to take it off at all?… I could take it for you if you like… if you don’t want to leave it on the floor…
Himawari:
She’s sensitive about the hat Papa…
Ishitara raises her hands up to her head then hesitates before removing her hat, but she places it on the floor next to her, still within reach, rather than handing it over to Naruto, again revealing her forehead with her third eye and horns. Sai walks over to an open area of floor near Ishitara and opens up his large scroll. Konohamaru now takes greater notice of the young maiden, taking full notice of the full picture, now seated on a stool at the breakfast bar, with Mitsuki, one of the genin from his team, seated on another stool behind him.
Konohamaru:
Your the one they called… Ishitara?… Ishitarasama desuka?…
Hannabi:
Konohamaru?…
As Konohamaru takes notice of Ishitara, Yukai takes notice of Hannabi’s notice of Konohamaru’s notice.
Yukai:
Great… Just my luck…
Shintaro:
That is my youngest daughter… Konohamarusan… Ishitara is shy… and somewhat sensitive… and awkward… and often doesn’t take well… to being stared at!…
As Shintaro corrects Konohamaru, Ishitara, sensing Konohamaru’s attention, begins to grab her hat in order to cover back up.
Konohamaru:
Please don’t cover up!… Not on my account certainly… Ishitarasama… I don’t mind the horns… I just find them… a bit striking… is all… Daijoubu desuka?…
Ishitara nods her head in the affirmative, and puts her hat back down, by her side.
Shintaro:
Go ahead and take a seat next to my daughter… if you can find one… Sarutobisan… If you want to chat her up… your going to have to get close enough to read her scroll… or you won’t necessarily know if she likes you in return…
Konohamaru:
Actually… I need to have a conference outside with my genin right now… if that’s alright with you… Shintarosama…
Shintaro:
I am no ‘sama’!… I have not been legitimately addressed… as ‘sama’… since I was disinherited… by my own father… over two decades ago!… If you must be so formal… Konohamaru taisho!… In general… I prefer to called… sensei!… or otherwise… if appropriate… father… grandfather… uncle… even father-in-law… but never ‘sama’!… And you do not need my permission here… for anything… save perhaps for my daughter’s hand!…
Konohamaru:
Nani?!?… No one said anything… about anyone’s hand!…
Shintaro:
No one needs to say anything… around me…
Karui:
Hai!… That’s the problem!…
Shintaro:
Oh hush Karui!…
Boruto:
Come on Konohamaru aniisan!… Before you end up getting yourself engaged!…
Sarada:
Hai!… Let’s go!… Before Konohamaru sensei’s nuptial ceremonies begin!…
Mitsuki:
I think they make a good couple…
As Konohamaru gets a little ribbing from his team, as they all filter past Ishitara to make their way outside through the screen door, he nervously glances at her again, and then at Shintaro, and the rest of the room, before awkwardly following his genin outside, as Ishitara begins to noticeably blush, then puts her face in her hands.
Sai:
I use the Super Beast Scroll too… Ishitara… Watch me!…
Sai sets out his ink and brush, and begins to draw on the big scroll he brought with him, now unrolled on the floor, as young Himawari sits on the floor, between Sai and Ishitara, sipping on a celebratory cup of coco, that Hinata made for her, in exchange for a promise to go to bed soon but not too soon, having seemingly gotten over her wariness of uncle Shintaro since he became the bearer of the new baby news. Sai draws a number of small black ink creatures, an assortment of rabbits, cats, and mice. As he infuses his chakra into the scroll, the various creatures leap to life, and jump off the page, running amok, as they run about, a number of them crawling and jumping, all over Ishitara herself and her Koto, as she giggles and applauds, along with Himawari and Hannabi.
After she stops applauding, Ishitara waves her hand over her scroll, and the ink already on the page, shifts and morphs into the shape of a black bird, then she clasps her hands together. Suddenly, a copy of the blackbird’s shape appears, slightly above it off the page and in three dimensions, and begins to fly away, and then another, and then another, and so on, until the entire house, is filled with tiny little flying blackbirds, with nowhere to go.
Shintaro:
Ishitara!… That’s enough!… Get these damn things out of here!…
Shintaro shouts hurriedly, soon to wish that he had been more patient and careful with his words. In a panic, Ishitara unclasps her hands then raises and starts waving her right hand in circle in the air above her head, causing all the various black birds to gather and swirl about her, until she directs the large murder of ink cows, towards the direction of the screen door.
Choza:
Choji!… Duck!…
Choji:
Duck?!?… Crows?!?
The birds hit the entire screen door, and the entire wall that contains it, with such collective force that the entire wall is blown out, by a flying murder of ink crows, with crows and debris flying over the ducking heads, of poor Choza and his son, as poor Ishitara grabs her hat, and smashes it back down on her head, in embarrassment. Shintaro stands up, and meekly apologizes.
Shintaro:
Sumimasen!… I can fix that!… Sumimasen!… But… Sometimes my daughter… doesn’t know her own strength… And well… she’s sensitive… and not use to… having a lot of new people around… And I probably shouldn’t have been so impatient with her just then… But… Oh well… These things are bound to happen from time to time… with my daughter… Daijoubu desuka?… Choza?… Choji?…
Choza/Choji:
Hai!…
Shintaro:
Sumimasen!… Sumimasen!… I can fix this!… Really!… It will only be few moments… I knew it was going to be a long night…
Hinata and Naruto look on in stunned silence, with Naruto downing another swig of sake. Shintaro reaches into his messenger bag on the coffee table, pulls out his ocarina and begins to play. As he plays, Shintaro begins to step forward and walk outside, through the newly open wall. As he walks though it, the wall begins to partially close, the wood itself almost healing itself, and reforming partially back into it’s former shape, but forming two large new wooden sliding panel doors, with paper panels filling it’s frame, as part of a wooden sliding door, instead of a screen door, with one of the panels slid completely open. As Shintaro continues to walk, the existing deck, and the overhang that sheltered it, are extended, with a raised bench growing out of the wall, wherever it’s attached to the deck.
As Shintaro stops walking, he keeps playing, as the deck, the bench, and the overhang are extended, winding an angular path along the side of the house, extending out of the side of the house as if organically growing out of a living house. Continuing until they reach the point where the house meets the wall surrounding the property, they continue along the wall and back to the front corner of the garden, and then along to the front gate itself, before continuing back towards the the front door, along the pathway between the gate and the house, to reconnect with the part of the deck where Shintaro still stands. All along it’s path, the new deck works an angular path around the new cherry blossom trees, in the corners from the earlier session, surrounding each of them with a wraparound deck and bench, while otherwise completely surrounding that side of the front garden, that recesses back along the side of the house.
A large depression in the shape of a koi pond sinks down into the yard enclosed by the new deck, which then fills with water, with stone garden candle lanterns growing up out of the ground within the enclosed space, lining the inside of the new deck, every two meters or so, but with no candles in them. The remainder of the grass within the enclosed yard is then overgrown and displaced by flowers completely. Shintaro stops playing and lowers his ocarina, and some of the assembled impromptu party guests, start to filter out through the new sliding door, to check out the rest of Baca Sennin’s handiwork.
Shintaro:
Sumimasen!… Hinatasama!… But I can’t really do glass or steel… nearly so easily… let alone a screen door… and I certainly don’t do koi!… If you want koi… you’ll have to get your own koi… So I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for a sliding wood and paper panel doors… In the meantime… I think… for safety’s sake… we had better move this party outside… again… sumimasen…
The various guests grab cushions and other party supplies, and filter out onto the deck, taking places along it’s edge, and along it’s bench. Shintaro makes his way back into the living room to kneel down at Ishitara’s eye level again.
Shintaro:
Sumimasen… Ishitara… I’m not mad… I shouldn’t have yelled… But don’t worry about a thing… I’ve already fixed it!… See?… Now… Can you do me a favor and use your koto to relocate with your new friends here… out onto the deck?…
Ishitara strums her koto again, and light surrounding Ishitara, Hannabi, Himawari, Yukai, and Sai, shifts, swirls, and dances, as they shimmer away where they lay, only to shimmer into place out on the deck, arranged exactly as they were, with Ishitara’s koto, Sai’s big scroll, Ishitara’s little table, with her tea cup and her bag of goodies, as well as her scroll and ink, and everyone’s cushions.
Himawari:
Wow!!!… Can we do that again?!?…
Hannabi:
I agree!…
Shintaro puts his ocarina back in his messenger bag and then places it back over his shoulder, leaving his demon bio-hazard gourd behind on the coffee table. He grabs a cushion for himself as he walks back outside. As Shintaro reaches the edge of the new deck, he steps off the deck, with his now bare feet seemingly be born aloft by the wind it self, as he lifts one foot off the deck, only to set the other down, a few meters away on the deck on the other side of the koi pond without koi, right next to his daughter Ishitara. Shintaro places his cushion down on the edge of the deck while removing his messenger bag from his shoulder and placing it next to his cushion on the deck. Kakashi sits himself down on a cushion on edge of the deck next to Shintaro, sipping his sake, before Shintaro conjures up a number of papers in his hand resembling paper bombs, tiny sheets of paper with seal formula written on them allowing them to contain energy to be released later upon detonation. He then casually tosses them up in the air.
Shintaro:
I hope you don’t mind me being… a bit of a pyro!…
Shintaro performs a quick flurry of hand seals, as the paper bombs levitate in mid air, then fly over and fill the space in the stone candle lanterns normally occupied by a candle, as they levitate in place. Shintaro then pulls a small lighter from inside his cloak. As Shintaro lights his lighter, he begins to wave his hand around it’s flame, manipulating the wind surrounding it, feeding it and directing it, stretching it out to reach over to his candle substitutes, touching them off one by one as they begin to burn a slow smoldering burn in place of candle light. Shintaro then pulls out a small pipe and a small pouch. Shintaro loads the bowl of his pipe, with the contents of the pouch, and puts the pouch away. As Shintaro lights his lighter again, a small amount of his wind picks up some small amount of the fire from his lighter, and places it gently on the top of the pile within the bowl, lighting it perfectly.
Naruto:
Wow!… You have fire style too!…
Shintaro:
No… Not fire style… It is a pseudo-fire style… My wind style Fire Dance Jutsu… I have no real natural affinity for fire nature chakra whatsoever… So… If I want to use fire style… I mostly have to cheat by other means… But I am very well practiced at it… You might even call it a pseudo-scorch style… with the combination of fire and wind… but without fire nature chakra…
Naruto:
What’s that your smoking?…
Shintaro:
It’s an herbal medicinal preparation… self-prescribed… Really it’s just a bad habit… picked up during the war…
Naruto:
Which war?…
Shintaro:
Pretty much all of them… haunting my memories…
Sakura makes her way over to her husband, now squared away in the far front corner of the deck, sitting on the raised wooden bench, with his sword leaning against the bench, and his cup of sake in his hand, like one of the cool kids hiding out in the back of class, to maintain proper aloofness. Seated next to Sasuke, is Choza, Choji, and Shikamaru, with Choza acting as bartender, to the two expecting fathers, and Choji’s poor put-upon best man. Sakura takes her seat next to her husband, on his opposite side from Choza and the others.
Sakura:
It won’t be too much longer now… before we have the test results in… Can you hold out a little while longer… without doing anything… lethal?…
Sasuke:
I can’t make you any promises… But Choza here… He promised to sit on me… if I made any trouble before the tests came in… in exchange for continued bar tender service of course… You’ll of course understand… if I don’t share… under the circumstances…
Sakura:
Well at least your mood is improving somewhat… Choza’s prescription… seems to agree with you…
Hinata sits on a cushion on the edge of the deck, just outside her new sliding panel door, flanked on cushions on either side, by her husband Naruto and her father Hiashi, with both of them beginning to show signs of excess celebration. Karui takes her daughter with her and sits the pair of them down on cushions placed on the edge of the deck in front of where her husband Choji and his best friend Shikamaru are seated on the bench, with her sword laying on the deck by her side. Kiba and Lee sit on the uncovered portion of the deck without cushions, with Kiba quietly sipping his sake and Lee partaking of Choza’s ‘Chilled Uzu Tea.’ Ino joins Sakura on the bench, as Konohamaru and his team return to the shock of the drastic change that occurred in their absence.
Boruto:
Woh!… What the heck did we miss?… Are there going to be more renovations?… Can I get a bigger room?…
Hinata:
No!… and No!…
Boruto sits down on the bare deck next to his grandfather, with Mitsuki likewise next to him, while Konohamaru sits likewise next to Naruto. Sarada grabs a pair of tea cups, and walks over to where her best friend Chocho sits eyeing her intently as she approaches.
Sarada:
Not that I necessarily care or anything… But you might want to wash down all those dumplings with this… Can I sit here?… Chocho?…
Chocho:
You can do anything you like!… any where you like!… any way you like!… as long as your still talking to me while you do it!…
Sarada chuckles and hands her the cup of tea, taking her seat on the deck, next her best friend, as they start to compare notes on all the crazy. With Sarada returned, Shintaro sets his pipe down on the deck, then raises both his hands up in the air, then poof, a gourd of sake appears in one hand, with a cup appearing in the other, then he pours himself a drink.
Hannabi:
I love that trick!… I gotta learn that!…
Shintaro takes a drink, then sets the gourd and his cup down next to his pipe. Shintaro raises both hands into the air again, then poof again, with a type of lute, known as a biwa, materializing in his left hand, and with a plectrum materialized in the other. Shintaro then begins to play.
Sarada:
Biwa desuka?…
Shinatro:
Ai… I hope you all don’t mind a little genjutsu this evening… I find that when it comes to storytelling… it is far easier to show with genjutsu… than it is to tell with long winded explanations… Ishitara?… If you please…
As Shintaro says this, Ishitara begins to play along with her father on her koto. As they play, Sarada activates her Sharingan and focuses intently on Shintaro and his playing, as if trying to copy his technique.
Shintaro:
Music has a special power… over the spirit… It speaks the fundamental language of the spirit… in the same way… images and symbolism are the fundamental language of the subconscious… and the first language of the human mind… before it learns any others… But music goes far deeper… In a similar manner… different forms of genjutsu… have different strengths and weaknesses… in accordance with their nature… in how they work on you… Visual forms of genjutsu are so powerful… and so common… because of the human dependence on sight… normally… the visual form speaks… to the subconscious… because that is it’s language… musical forms however… go deeper… to the root of your being… to the spirit… because it speaks the language… of the spirit… combination forms can be far more powerful still… because they tap into both!… Some forms of musical jutsu have survived to the present day… from the time of the Sage of Six Paths… and his original ninshu… predating all modern ninjutsu… With music… we can go deeper… far deeper… deep into the spirit… deep down into the very fabric of the web… of all the chakra in the meta-verse… that interweaves and interconnects all living things… with each other… and with the very physical substance of existence it self… All chakra has a memory of it’s own… and all chakra… is connected… to all other chakra… And that memory… can be tapped into and accessed… if you know how… with the power of music… This is a consequence and a product… of the teachings of ninshu…
Sasuke:
Get on with it!…
Sakura:
Sasukekun!…
Shintaro:
Hai! Hai!…. Mr. drunken smoldering wrath!… I was enjoying the music so much… I drifted off topic… Sumimasen!… Wrathsama!… Ishitara?… Your playing is as lovely as usual… But we are here for a reason… I think my grandson must have gotten on my daughters bad side… But what my daughter doesn’t seem to realize… is that Mr. drunken smoldering wrath over there… is libel to try and incinerate her papa!… if she doesn’t get on with the show!…
Shintaro commands, as Ishitara abides with a flurry of notes, before she begins to sing, startling the assemble family and friends.
Shinataro:
Apparently… Wrathsama… will have his way!…
Naruto:
I thought you said she doesn’t speak!…
Shintaro:
Nobody said that she had no voice… We said that she did not speak… My daughter is not speaking… technically speaking… Now finally… where exactly do we begin again?…
There Is No Alone!
Forever Never Ending!
There Is No Escape!
There Is No Point In Pretending!
No comments:
Post a Comment